Women who stay in abusive relationships are often judged as irrational. When children are present in the household, the perceived irrationality of the abused — the woman being beaten or sexually assaulted by her intimate partner — increases. The man,
Women who stay in abusive relationships are often judged as irrational. When children are present in the household, the perceived irrationality of the abused — the woman being beaten or sexually assaulted by her intimate partner — increases.
The man, for varying reasons, escapes the onus of blame and the victim becomes the accused.
The reasons a woman stays in a physically and verbally abusive relationship are not well understood. But research has shown that in considering their safety, abused women make complex tradeoffs which include: judgments about their own and their children’s physical and psychological safety; basic needs, such as economic resources; maternal concerns, such as maintaining an intact family; relationship and social needs, such as companionship or opinions of other family members; and emotional concerns, such as personal degradation.
Many mothers endure emotional, physical and sexual abuse in the belief that they are sacrificing themselves in order to provide their children with the perceived benefits of growing up in a family with a father. It is often only when the children’s safety becomes an issue that many decide to leave the abuser. Some 50 percent of the men who frequently assault their wives also frequently abuse their children, found a 2000 study from the state Attorney General’s office. About half of the mothers and children showed symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder after leaving an abusive relationship, demonstrating the need for effective mental health interventions for these families. It has been estimated that between 3.3 million and 10 million children in the United States live in households in which domestic violence occurs.
In Hawai‘i, perhaps as many as 44,000 children witness domestic violence each year, states a 2004 study. Exposure to domestic violence and child abuse frequently occur in the same homes, studies have found. Children exposed to domestic violence are often both primary victims of abuse and secondary victims through witnessing their mothers being abused. Some 75 percent of victims of domestic-violence murders are killed after leaving relationships, and half of all homeless women and their children are fleeing domestic violence. Most women in the Attorney General’s study state that they had little access to information regarding the effects of abuse on their children. The study concludes that this strongly suggests that media information efforts should be developed to inform mothers that the impact of domestic violence on their children vastly outweighs any perceived negative effects of leaving an abuser. One of the problems in sharing this type of information unique to the state of Hawai‘i is the isolated nature of many of the residents on rural, outlying islands.
Internet access, an effective manner for disseminating information, is not readily available. Access to traditional media is more hindered as well. Reported Kaua‘i County domestic violence incidents between the years 1993 and 1999 — available in another comprehensive AG study — averaged just under 300 per year over the seven years of the study. Arrests for that same period averaged close to 150. The four county police departments in Hawai‘i have mandatory arrest policies for the Abuse of Household member statute, which is a misdemeanor offense. The standard for the mandatory arrest for abuse of family or household members is defined as “visible injury or complaint of pain.”
The problem with official statistics is the lack of accounting for the unknown incidents never reported. Awareness may be key to decreasing the occurrences of, and negative effects from, domestic violence. If awareness alone does not have those effects, maybe it can help supply the catalyst for allowing abusers to seek help, or the abused to say enough.
Perhaps the problem would be better addressed if the focus would shift to the source of the problem. Aggression needs an aggressive response, some suggest. An early detection policy in law enforcement aimed at identifying symptoms in children who witness domestic violence may be a step in the right direction. The method should include the systematic training of law enforcement personnel because they are often the first outsiders to come into contact with a family exposed to domestic violence. Once a domestic violence situation has been identified, initial psychological assessments of mothers and their children — conducted by a domestic violence response team at the time of police intervention or initiation of temporary restraining orders — should be part of the response as well. The assessment team should minimally screen for evidence of acute stress disorder as a precursor to longer-term dysfunction, including post-traumatic stress disorder.
Whether or not burdening an overworked police department with these types of duties is a good idea may be a whole other branch of discussion. Domestic violence incidents surely burden the logs of the officers. They may be the most prepared to recognize the problem, but domestic situations are often the most complex and the most difficult to understand by their very personal nature. Funding for response teams may be a little tricky as well, but there is little doubt that those aware of the problem and working to lessen it are willing to consider anything to stop the killing, the beating and the emotional abuse.
October is domestic violence awareness month. Today kicks off a schedule of events developed to raise the awareness on Kaua‘i to the problem. Look to the pages of The Garden Island to find out about the events, and check the front page for relevant articles this week.
