The dynamics of daddy’s pet Daddy’s little girl, daddy’s pet, daddy’s favorite. She always gets the biggest scoop of ice cream. She always gets to sit right next to him. She always gets to share special secrets. She’s so lucky,
The dynamics of daddy’s pet
Daddy’s little girl, daddy’s pet, daddy’s favorite.
She always gets the biggest scoop of ice cream. She always gets to sit right next to him. She always gets to share special secrets. She’s so lucky, so special, so spoiled.
She’s going out with daddy tonight. No one else can go. Not even mommy.
Daddy says she can’t talk about it, not to anyone, not even mommy. Daddy says it would kill mommy. She doesn’t want to kill mommy. She loves mommy.
Daddy says her sisters would be mean to her if they knew. It would hurt them to know. She doesn’t want to hurt her sisters.
Maybe if she lets daddy touch her as much as he wants, maybe he won’t touch them this way. It feels so awful. It used to feel good. It feels too much. She wants daddy to love her, but this love hurts, inside.
Daddy used to touch her gently, in special ways that felt good. He touched her many times this way, each time a little more. He taught her how to touch him in special places that made him feel good. He asked her to say special things a special way to please him. Daddy taught her to look at him in special ways. This makes him so happy.
She loves making daddy happy.
Sometimes she feels so confused. She loves Saturday movies with mommy, but why are they always arguing? Ever since daddy started hurting her inside, she has funny feelings about mommy. She wonders if daddy does this to her, too?
Her sisters make fun of her clothes and makeup, the way she wears her hair. But daddy likes it. He understands.
Her mommy sees many of the signs, but does not know what the signs mean. Daddy is a good husband, father and provider.
Mommy hears the fighting called sibling rivalry.
Mommy senses the moodiness, depression and rage in her but cannot figure it out.
Mommy sees her acting out sexually, can smell the alcohol on her breath and clothes, says her boyfriends are too old for her. Daddy says that she’s just fine when she’s with him. He says mommy just doesn’t understand.
She saw daddy hurting her older sister. Her sister was crying. She thinks she should have let daddy touch her more. She thinks she should have gone to him and begged him for more, like he told her to. Then he wouldn’t be hurting her sister.
She thinks it’s all her fault.
Third in a series on sexual abuse
Today is the third in a four-article series on sexual assault and abuse, written by Dianne Celeste Ray, an advocate with YWCA of Kaua’i. Sunday: Children as targets. Monday: Date rape. Tomorrow: Ways to avoid being a victim. Ray, in her role with YWCA, provides support and counseling for victims of sexual and physical assault. At schools, she teaches the dynamics of dating-violence and date rape. She also works with support groups.
If you are tired of hurting, please call the Sex Assault Treatment Program at YWCA of Kaua’i at 245-6362. It is not your fault.
