It was her 14th birthday. All of her girlfriends were downstairs dancing at her birthday slumber party. She just had to have another scoop of ice cream. He was blocking the door to the kitchen and smiling down at her.
It was her 14th birthday. All of her girlfriends were downstairs dancing at her birthday slumber party. She just had to have another scoop of ice cream. He was blocking the door to the kitchen and smiling down at her.
Her uncle, 26 years old, had practically raised her. “Hey, you! Get out of the way!” she shouted, laughing.
He grabbed her breast.
“You’re a woman now. Maybe we can finally get to know each other better,” he said.
She hit him and jumped out of his way. “You jerk!” she yelled.
“Hey, just cause you’re 14 doesn’t mean you can disrespect your uncle,” her father shouted from the other room.
“But he’s a jerk, dad!” she cried. “He just—”
“That’s enough,” her father ordered. “Get downstairs now and apologize to your uncle.”
The definition of sexual assault is any type of unwanted touching on those body parts generally covered by a bathing suit. The girl in this story was sexually assaulted. And it is a crime.
In a recent survey conducted by several magazines, over 10,000 women responded that they had been sexually assaulted. Less than 16 percent of them ever reported this to the police. Less than 20 percent ever told anyone else about it. They felt guilty, ashamed, confused, betrayed. Many wrote back stating, “I do not feel safe any more.”
It is estimated that one in three girls and boys are sexually assaulted before they reach the age of 18.
According to the FBI, a rapist of adult victims rapes about seven times before he is arrested; a rapist of juvenile victims (under 18 years of age) gets away with it more than 637 times before being arrested.
Over 90 percent of adult men who rape male children are heterosexual. Over 80 percent of the time, victims of sexual assault know and trust the person who eventually abuses them. Most rapists are repeat offenders.
Children are blamed for the assault, threatened that either they or their parents will be killed if they tell. Young teenage girls are threatened by the rapist, saying he will tell everyone she wanted it and ruin her reputation if she tells anyone. Sometimes, they are even threatened with death.
Sex assault is not about sex. It’s about having power over someone else. It is about the satisfaction of controlling another human being, using sex as a weapon. It is a leading cause of suicide, drug and alcohol abuse, and chronic depression among children and adults.
If someone touched you when you did not want it to happen, it is not your fault. If you feel guilty, confused, ashamed, afraid or angry, there is help. If you were assaulted as a child and you are now an adult, there is someone you can talk to. The Sex Assault Treatment Program at YWCA of Kaua’i offers free, confidential counseling 24 hours every day at 245-6362.
