Brace yourselves, folks. Avert your eyes if you must. We’re about to tackle a very sensitive subject, head on. Today, I’m going to be talking about the “f-word.” It is very controversial and profane, but I think that it’s neccessary.
Brace yourselves, folks. Avert your eyes if you must. We’re about to tackle a very sensitive subject, head on.
Today, I’m going to be talking about the “f-word.” It is very controversial and profane, but I think that it’s neccessary.
The “f-word” that I’m talking about is, of course, “furloughs.”
The state of Hawai‘i has been issuing furloughs in the recent months to control some of the spending and try to make the upcoming budget restraints more reasonable to achieve.
However, a new wrinkle under these terms means that there will be plenty of Fridays when Kaua‘i’s students will have no school to go to and likely no parents to watch them for most of the day.
Now, I’m nothing if not a problem-solver. When I see a potential solution, I can’t help but get in the mix and make things happen. It’s just my nature.
So when I looked at the news and saw that NBA referees are likely going to soon be jobless and locked out by the league over labor disputes, my first thought was “I wonder how quickly we can get them out here.”
Just think of it, who better to teach our kids basic life skills and be positive role models than the fine officiating staff of the National Basketball Association?
We could have Joey Crawford, the 32-year veteran official, teach a class in anger management and playing nicely with others.
Crawford had supposedly had a long-running feud with the San Antonio Spurs and star Tim Duncan, in particular. Much of it came to a head on April 15, 2007 when Crawford ejected Duncan for, of all things, laughing. Not only was Duncan performing this heinous act of laughter, he was doing it with teammates on the Spurs’ bench!
Such conduct could not go unpunished and Crawford rightfully challenged Duncan to a fight right there on the court.
Not only was it the appropriate response, but obviously a well-thought out plan for the diminutive 56-year-old to suggest pugilism with the 7-foot future Hall of Famer.
Referee Bill Kennedy stared down Boston Celtics head coach Doc Rivers in the closing minute of a Boston playoff game against Chicago. He persisted with the staring until an exasperated Rivers raised his arms and said, “What?” Kennedy then blew his whistle and gave Rivers a technical foul – his second of the game – and ejected him.
Kennedy abused his power at a critical moment, made an unfair and impactful decision that was not in the best interest of the event and those involved, then later blamed Rivers, saying that he was the true instigator of the situation.
I smell the new dean of political science.
What else, you ask? Well, kids hate math. The only way they will appreciate numbers is if they are presented to them in a fun way.
Enter Tim Donaghy. Donaghy, though not a current referee, probably has some free time (better known as mandatory community service hours) to lend his experienced perspective into the fun world of numerical analysis.
If you don’t recall, Donaghy was an NBA official for 13 years before choosing to resign in 2007. And by “choosing to resign,” I mean resigned amid an FBI investigation into his involvement in a gambling ring. He apparently bet on games that he officiated and made calls which effected the point spreads in those games.
That’s pretty sophisticated and involves a lot of quick math. After fixing final scores for his own financial gain and possibly a few bookmakers, teaching the Pythagorean theorem should be a piece of cake.
Oh, maybe Donaghy could also assist Crawford in his anger management lessons. I would think that he surely learned a lot after allegedly setting his neighbor’s tractor on fire and driving their golf cart into a ravine.
Alright, after reading this back to myself, it might not be the brilliant idea I had envisioned.
Hey, what about Kanye West to teach public speaking?
