WAIMEA — On Saturday, about 70 people gathered to walk around a softball field in Waimea. What brought them there was not a shared love of sport or any particular passion for long walks, but support of a cause that for many represented very personal journeys: suicide prevention. Together, they sewed a quilt of commonalities; witness testimony on a similar theme.
“My dad died by suicide 10 years ago. My mother wouldn’t talk about it.”
“Two weeks ago, my nephew took his own life.”
“She didn’t tell me for 10 months. Now I understand she was grieving.”
The Out of the Darkness Community Walk sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention sought to raise $10,000, but with half the turnout of last year’s event, efforts fell far short of that. Only $905 was raised online.
Nevertheless, this didn’t deter participants from getting their message out to the public, having a good time, and providing crucial information and support to families on the Westside — that suicide is preventable.
“Maybe we didn’t have the numbers we had last year but the feeling was still there,” said event organizer Vanya Fagasa.
Fagasa was hopeful that people went away knowing that they aren’t alone and there are places they can go to talk about what they’re going through.
This sentiment was echoed time and time again from those in attendance. With Kauai reporting an average of 11 suicide deaths per year and a whopping 20 in 2017 alone, organizers and participants are veritable warriors against the stigma, blame and shame that usually accompanies victims and survivors alike. Mobilizing local task forces that provide training, support and education is one of the ways Kauai’s community has generated a network for those seeking help.
“One of the reasons we have a crisis here is because people don’t know where to access already limited resources,” said Gina Kaulukukui, founder of Life’s Bridges Hawaii and Prevent Suicide Kauai Task Force.
Kaulukukui stressed that support can be as simple as asking someone if they are OK and making the call to the state’s hotline with them. When that happens, there is a compassionate individual on the line who is trained to help.
As evidenced by the friends and families who came to the event, suicide affects far more than the victim. And part of the grieving process for survivors is making peace without ever having all the answers.
“You’re not alone. You don’t have to do it alone,” said Kathy Sheffield, founder of the National Alliance on Mental Illness in Kauai.
Sheffield had an informational board that featured pictures of famous faces, from Harrison Ford to Princess Diana, all diagnosed with mental health conditions. NAMI provides support to friends, family and those with mental health conditions by offering support groups and information.
“These attitudes are homegrown,” said Fagasa as she fielded hugs from friends and family. “People they listen, they hurt.”
Her call to action to fight stigma, build love and give support?
“Reach out to your family,” she said. Sit down as a family or friends once a week without cell phones or distractions and connect over a meal.
As the hours ebbed into midday and the sun blazed overhead, children were treated to face painting, horse riding, cookies and bead necklaces. Adults sipped on iced mochas provided by the Kauai Coffee Company and talked story. Brought together by tragic experience, Kauai’s community was fighting back — and, as evidenced by the smiles, hugs and handshakes, becoming more resilient together.
