Hoaxes, scams and deception are all too common in this world, even on Kauai.
You may have heard the saying, “You can’t cheat an honest man.” Like many sayings though, this is also untrue. Every day, honest people, unknowingly at first, are victims of fraud.
How so? Well, there are those who seek out, like a hunter hunting for its prey, just about anyone to get what they want and not necessarily need.
Rightfully so, I call them “con artist” because such ones know how to win the (con)fidence of others for their own emotional and material gain.
Why do I reason with such harsh words? Because I myself became a victim. My kindness and compassion were taken advantage of by someone I thought was a friend.
Interestingly, there is confirmed proof that others were victims of this same individual. Is this a crime? Technically no … but morally and ethically YES.
Like a hunter, some traps are made visible while other snares are not. Based on my own recent experience, here are some common traits of a con-artist to be aware of.
1) They are always complaining about their lot in life. It is always someone else to blame for their allegedly hardships and never their own fault.
2) They are always perturbed about other people and use them as a topic of conversation.
3) They are always discontent with what they have.
4) There is always a sense of consternation or fear of how others view them.
5) They use flattery as a form of lip service, saying things that you want to hear.
6) UNTRUTHFULLNESS … do I need to go there?
7) Asking for simple favors and then moving on to bigger favors that deals with money or the paying of certain things.
8) Using social media to give people the perception that family comes first, and yet are seen by others partying the night away at bars and other places.
9) When a problem or emergency arises because of their careless conduct, they call you.
As a for thought, the words “complaining,” “perturbed,” “consternation,” “untruthful,” etc., are words relating to a person’s moral power.
If you are like me, it takes me a while to distinguish a person of true character from a fake. Just call me dumb. However, when I finally figure it out, the emotional attention stops, the material giving stops, everything stops.
How do I feel about this recent event? Well, there is resentment. There is anger. I have sought legal advice, even to the point of retaining a lawyer for the sake of clearing my name because of the fictitious story that has been circulating and is very slanderous and hurtful. I have my documents in order.
It is not about retaliating. It is not about seeking revenge. It is not about hurting this person. I will not resort to that.
Even more so, there is this debate in my head to let it go because I strongly believe in the Golden Rule where it reminds me to treat others the way I want to be treated.
I am also reminded to forgive. Therefore, I will use whatever kindness and compassion that I have and give it to truly deserved ones.
Oh by the way, if he/she is talking about me, chances are he/she is talking about you.
Remember, if you sit with a con artist, the conversation will be different.
Be on the alert, Kauai!
Sean Bobiles is a resident of Lihue.