On Saturday, Sept. 14, the Friends of Kamalani and Lydgate Park received a gift from Cherry Blossom Queen Crystine Ito, Hawaii Rep. Dee Morikawa, Council member JoAnn Yukimura, and groups from Kapaa and Kauai High Schools. They participated in the
On Saturday, Sept. 14, the Friends of Kamalani and Lydgate Park received a gift from Cherry Blossom Queen Crystine Ito, Hawaii Rep. Dee Morikawa, Council member JoAnn Yukimura, and groups from Kapaa and Kauai High Schools. They participated in the Hawaii “Get the Drift and Bag It” beach cleanup event. Thank you wonderful folks and for proving once again that this generation of teens has the highest percentage of volunteerism ever!
People cleaned the beach, picked up trash along the whole park, worked on the large Morgan Pond, painted picnic tables, and cleaned Hauola, the Place of Refuge Heiau, and around it. Two Na Kahu o Hikinaakala members were there to see that what was done was pono, beginning by telling the heiau team of 15 adults and teens who volunteered there, what a Place of Refuge was. Most were unaware of what a gift it really is. When the Hawaiians ruled, several Places of Refuge used to exist on each island.
The Big Island’s most famous Place of Refuge, Puuhonua O Honaunau, is part of the United States National Parks. Their website states, “In old Hawaii, if you had broken a law, the penalty was death. Perhaps you had entered into an area that was reserved for only the chiefs, or had eaten forbidden foods. Laws, or kapu, governed every aspect of Hawaiian society.
The penalty for breaking these laws was certain death. Your only option for survival was to elude your pursuers and reach the nearest puuhonua, or place of refuge. (http://www.nps.gov/puho/planyourvisit/the-puuhonua.htm)
Once you arrived, you were greeted by the priest/kahuna, who would receive you. You would be given tasks to do, as it there could be thousands who would be there during times of war, when it was against the law not to fight for your chief. Also, warriors could not attack their enemies in a Place of Refuge. Since everyone had to eat, you might farm or fish, or repair nets and boats. There was cleaning, cooking, and the like.
Eventually the priest would know that it was time for you to return to your community, and he would absolve (pardon) you and free you from the guilt of your broken kapu.
And now for the wonderful part: When you left the Place of Refuge, you were absolutely forgiven, and no one could hold you accountable for that mistake ever again. I remember hearing that King Kamehameha himself appointed a man who had broken a kapu to be one of his ministers.
Doesn’t this sound a lot like forgiveness? Most of the recognized religions in the world teach that if we name our mistake (some call it sin), and ask for forgiveness, we will be forgiven. Some require a priest’s presence, and some don’t.
However, by naming, or confessing our mistake, we recognize that what we did was wrong and we won’t do it again.
Sadly, in spite of our best intentions, we might repeat this mistake, and have to go through the process again. Also, we are expected to forgive others when they make a mistake against us. Why should we expect forgiveness when we can’t forgive others? And that’s a clue. If we are having a hard time forgiving ourselves, we can begin by forgiving and absolving others from what they did to us. As we forgive them, it becomes easier to forgive ourselves.
It’s sometimes easier to forgive others than it is to forgive yourself, if you are a conscientious person, but as you get used to forgiving others, it becomes easier to forgive yourself. It’s important not to hold grudges, and it’s important to forgive yourself.
Guilt is helpful when it lets you know that you’ve made a mistake. Then, try to make it right as best as you can. Apologize, repair damages, repay, offer to work things off, etc. You may pray about it, and yes, ask for forgiveness, and how to make things right.
Once you’ve done that, you must forgive yourself. Guilt is damaging to the mind and body.
Research shows that feeling guilty suppresses the immune system, which is our defense against anything that comes into our bodies. Guilt can cause trouble with internal organs such as the heart or stomach, and lead to depression or mental illness.
We each need a place of refuge in our lives, whether it is in the mind, or an actual place. Some people visualize a sacred temple where they can meet a loving God presence. There may be a special place in nature you go to. One teen told me it was his Grandma’s couch! It’s just important to be able to feel forgiven.
If you are Christian and go to church, it might help to know that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” — 1 John 1:9
People still go to Hauola and pray. Most walk around to the Wailua River side, and pray by the large rock with the metal plaque “Hauola City of Refuge” on it. It is not appropriate to go inside the heiau unless you are with a kahuna, kumu, or kahu. Hawaiians have strict protocol (procedures) for their heiau visits, but if you wanted to pray there, some suggested behavior would be to: (Adapted from and article by Phyllis Coochie Cayan, Dec. 1999; http://hawaii.hawaii.edu/hawaiian/KHaili/protocolwahipana.htm)
• Dress modestly.
• Avoid loud and aggressive or romantic behavior.
• Don’t stand on, sit on, or move any rocks.
• Leave pets at home.
• Maintain an attitude of respect with little or no talking.
• Include in your silent prayers thanks before and after.
• Offerings are not required. Prayers or chants are offering enough.
Many modern day churches were built on the ancient religions’ places of worship, because the spiritual energy had been built up there. That is why going to Hauola might be helpful if you were having difficulty forgiving yourself or others. Forgiveness energy is built up there. It would be the right thing to do to treat the Hawaiian heiau with the same respect that you treat your own church. After all, someone might be forgiving there, and God will meet you wherever you go, and pray.
Questions?
Hale `Opio Kaua’i convened a support group of adults in our Kaua’i community to “step into the corner” for our teens, to answer questions and give support to youth and their families on a wide variety of issues. Please email your questions or concerns facing our youth and families today to Annaleah Atkinson at aatkinson@haleopio.org
