Bar Fighter: Rachel Christie, the reigning Miss England, has been forced to relinquish her crown after being arrested for fighting with another beauty queen in a bar. On a positive note, after learning of the drunken bar brawl, Jagermeister immediately
Bar Fighter: Rachel Christie, the reigning Miss England, has been forced to relinquish her crown after being arrested for fighting with another beauty queen in a bar. On a positive note, after learning of the drunken bar brawl, Jagermeister immediately named her their new spokesperson.
Useless Drugs?: Congressional investigators say that the FDA has allowed drugs for cancer and other diseases to stay on the market even when follow-up studies showed that that the drugs didn’t extend patients’ lives. FDA officials say that while the drugs may not have extended patients’ lives, paying for the drugs did manage to considerably extend patients’ credit card debt.
Pay Toilets: The chief executive of the European budget airline Ryanair says he plans to begin charging passengers to use to the bathroom. I don’t think I want to be on one the flights when someone who really needs to use the bathroom suddenly finds himself a little strapped for cash.
Solar Water Heating: A spokesperson for the Kaua‘i Island Utility Cooperative Energy Services reports that in 2009, more than a third of Kaua‘i residences have their water heated by the sun. The idea really seems to be really catching on, even the Pacific Ocean is rumored to be using the sun to heat its water.
Til Death Due Us Part: Wal-Mart has started selling caskets and urns on their Web site, often at prices that may undersell funeral homes. Let’s hope there’s a big employee discount for Wal-Mart associates, who with their meager healthcare benefits, probably will be in need of the caskets.
Require More Meds: Recent studies have found that natural redheads may be more sensitive to pain and may therefore need more anesthetics to numb them. This is in contrast to blondes, where its the people around them that appear to require medication.
Against Coal: College students across the country are protesting the use of coal to provide power to their schools, demanding a more green source of energy. Students say they will not tolerate anything short of the total elimination of everything that still uses coal, up to and including the music of Broadway composer Cole Porter.
Death of a Mortician: The Spartanburg, South Carolina Herald-Journal is reporting the death of local town mortician and funeral director Herman G. Pickerly, who fancied himself not only a mortician, but also an artist. The paper reports that when he died, he left behind a large body of work.
• Johnny Robish is a humor writer and former stand-up comic who lives on Kaua‘i. E-mail him at johnny@johnnyrobish.com.
