Returning to Kaua‘i for the first time since their honeymoon four years ago, Mike and Nicole Boschen arrived to the island this time with more than a vacation in mind. The Boschens are on a mission of love. In January
Returning to Kaua‘i for the first time since their honeymoon four years ago, Mike and Nicole Boschen arrived to the island this time with more than a vacation in mind.
The Boschens are on a mission of love.
In January they left their home in New York in search of answers to the age old question: What makes love last? Who better to answer than couples who’ve reached that illusive bench mark in a marriage — the 50th wedding anniversary.
Accompanied by two year-old daughter, Sage, the family of three made Kaua‘i their thirty-ninth state in nine months. Their book, “50 States of Love,” will be a compilation of 50 couples, one from each state, who’ve been married over 50 years.
“We knew when we decided on the project that we wanted Kaua‘i to represent the state of Hawai‘i,” Mike Boschen said.
Courageously selling a business and hitting the road six months after conceiving of the project, the family began their marital pilgrimage in New Jersey where they were wed.
They drove out of New York in a 25 year-old Mercedes station wagon named Homer, but 12 states later abandoned the car, motels and diner food for an upgrade to an RV.
“It became a home where we could cook and sleep in our own bed,” Nicole Boschen said.
Parking the RV in Montana at a relative’s house, the Boschens set off for Hawai‘i. In August they spent 18 days on Kaua‘i searching for a Hawai‘i representative.
The two rely on luck and circumstance to find candidates. In the case of the Kalaheo couple chosen (who wish to remain unnamed) they met while lunching at Wrangler’s Steak House in Waimea.
When the Boschens began this ambitious project nine months ago they had two pages of questions for the interviews.
“We ditched the list by the third couple,” Nicole Boschen said. “We realized all we had to ask was, ‘how did you two meet.’”
“But there is one question I like to ask,” Mike Boschen said. “What do you do when you come to an impasse — an argument that your usual approach doesn’t work on?”
Nicole said the funniest response was when the husband answered, ‘I don’t know what she does, but I play the piano.’”
Aside from a few logistical errors and general fatigue, the project has been a gratifying one. Nicole acknowledges one challenge — many women of the era she is learning about were encouraged to drop out of high school in lieu of a role as wife and mother.
“One woman broke down crying over it,” she said. “Her father wouldn’t let her finish school once she was engaged to marry.”
“We’re learning more about people on this trip then just their marriage,” Mike Boschen added.
That said, the two agree that the overarching secret to longevity in a marriage is acceptance.
“Every couple has brought it up,” he said. “The most important aspect of a marriage is learning to accept the other person.”
The Boschen’s are scheduled to complete the interviews in October. To get a sneak preview of the book visit 50statesoflove.com.
