Texting hell Police in Staten Island say a teenage girl, who was walking down the street texting and not looking where she was going, fell into open sewer. After being rescued, the teen cautioned other girls not to let this
Texting hell
Police in Staten Island say a teenage girl, who was walking down the street texting and not looking where she was going, fell into open sewer. After being rescued, the teen cautioned other girls not to let this happen to them, warning, “You just can’t imagine horrible it is down there! Cellphone reception is awful, you can’t Twitter or text, and pretty soon life just sort of becomes meaningless.”
Shaved ice
I went out to dinner with a girl who asked that her drink be served over shaved ice rather than regular ice. I asked why shaved ice? Does the ice here usually have hair on it?
Golf on TV
I called up a friend the other day and asked him if he wanted to hang out at the beach. He told me he couldn’t because he was watching a senior golf tournament on TV. Now I can understand playing a round of golf yourself, but who watches “senior golf” on TV? Is that for people who find regular golf too fast of a game, so to slow things down, they watch the elderly people play?
Problem with jazz
Went to listen to a friend who’s in a jazz band the other night. The one thing that’s always bothered me about jazz is that if they make a mistake, how are we gonna know?
Man arrested for swearing
An elderly Ravenna, Ohio, man has been arrested at a local supermarket after other patrons complained he suddenly began “swearing up a storm.” Ravenna police, while not condoning the man’s behavior, say they released him because the area has been in a severe drought and the community badly needed the rain.
Drugs in prison
Charlie Manson has been transferred to another area of the prison after being accused of drug trafficking in that facility. Oh, to think Manson might have exposed the other murderers to illegal drugs! Why it could have ruined their lives.
Lady dentist
I recently had several dates with a lady who was a dentist. She was nice enough, but I eventually broke up with her because every time I’d kiss her, she’d tell me, “Alright, now rinse and spit.”
• Johnny Robish is a humor writer and former stand-up comic who lives on Kaua‘i. E-mail him at johnny@johnnyrobish.com
