• Editor’s note: “Spiritual leaders answer” is a weekly column inviting Kaua‘i’s religious and spiritual leaders to share their doctrine’s perspective on a suggested subject. Every Friday, a topic is printed, inviting a response. Due to space limitations, submissions are
• Editor’s note: “Spiritual leaders answer” is a weekly column inviting Kaua‘i’s religious and spiritual leaders to share their doctrine’s perspective on a suggested subject. Every Friday, a topic is printed, inviting a response. Due to space limitations, submissions are edited. Thoughts or suggestions for future topics are always welcome. Next week’s subject is on ritual. The topic at the end of the column is for the following week.
Kahu Dr. James Fung
Lihu‘e Christian Church
It’s been said that a lot of men make better hunters than shepherds. That is, they are pretty good at doing whatever it takes to entice and lure the woman that they are courting back to their cave, but after they win over the woman of their dreams, it takes a shepherds care and attentiveness to treasure and nurture their wives for the next 60 years.
Courtship at its best is not merely the charm and energy that a person invests in a relationship prior to marriage, but has to do with the creative energy and mature loving behaviors that characterize a healthy and enduring marriage.
The Christian faith, at its heart, focuses on the quality of relationships — our relationship with God and the way a spiritually transformed heart finds expression in the quality of all of our other relationships — including with a life-long, committed marriage partner.
In the Christian marriage ceremony, we ask brides and grooms if they will love, honor, comfort and cherish each other. When taken seriously, these words suggest the most promising outlook for a deeply fulfilling marriage.
Ongoing courtship in a marriage is the secret to a relationship that will sparkle and never lose its pizzazz. I tell brides and grooms that it’s easy to cherish each other on their wedding day. But to feel like you’re not merely loved, but cherished after twenty years of marriage, that’s the ticket.
The Baha’i of Kaua‘i
Because marriage is not just a physical union but an eternal spiritual bond, the period of courtship is very important for a lasting marriage. Unlike the practice of modern society, Baha’i courtship calls for absolute chastity. It is necessary they determine if they can work cooperatively for common goals and are able to resolve difficulties while maintaining a harmonious relationship. Though in love, they should also be friends and the closest of companions with concern for each others’ welfare.
Because courtship is a preparation for marriage the Baha’i Writings provide the following guidance: “Baha’i marriage is union and cordial affection between the two parties. They must, however, exercise the utmost care and become acquainted with each others’ character. This eternal bond should be made secure by a firm covenant, and the intention should be to foster harmony, fellowship and unity and to attain everlasting life. … In a true Baha‘i marriage the two parties must become fully united both spiritually and physically, so that they may attain eternal union throughout all the worlds of God, and improve the spiritual life of each other. This is Baha‘i matrimony. …”
Topic for two
weeks from today
• Will you speak to us on
breath?
• Spiritual leaders are invited to e-mail responses of three to five paragraphs to pwoolway@kauaipubco.com
• Deadline each week is
Tuesday, by 5 p.m.