•Editor’s note: This is the fourth in a series of columns discussing leadership on Kaua‘i — a place where leaders discuss the qualities and expectations of leadership specific to the Garden Island. Leadership today presents itself in many different shapes,
•Editor’s note: This is the fourth in a series of columns discussing leadership on Kaua‘i — a place where leaders discuss the qualities and expectations of leadership specific to the Garden Island.
Leadership today presents itself in many different shapes, forms and sizes. Some leadership practices are built on fear and intimidation while others are molded by nurturing and support. The language of leadership has also taken on many different flavors. Kouzes and Posner’s “Leadership Practices Inventory” teaches user-friendly terminology such as “model the way”, “challenge the process” and “inspire a shared vision” to name a few.
I’d like to introduce to you yet another term to add to your leadership language dictionary and that is the “unintentional leader.” Some cultures believe that there are people who are born to be great leaders while others contest that great leadership is a learned trait and a result of study, practice and implementation. Then, you have people who have absolutely no desire to lead, but due to their natural graces, followers will tend to gravitate to them. I refer to these individuals as unintentional leaders and the birth of this concept is inspired by my mother who has been the most influential person in my life.
Now in order to fully understand the origins of the unintentional leader model, you need to know some background about my mother. She is number seven of eight children and one of only two girls in the family. There indeed was no shortage of testosterone in their household. My grandfather was a taro farmer in Waipi‘o Valley, Hawai‘i Island where he and my grandmother raised their eight children. They were poor. The time was the 1940s and living under these circumstances, you would think that my mother was destined to be a follower instead of a leader. It is my theory that because she had so much experience as a follower during her formative years, she was able to identify and observe leadership examples within her own family dynamics to decide what works and what doesn’t.
Unintentional leaders are humble, but not shy, confident, but not outwardly so. They lead with a “kakou” approach where everyone is included in the process and everyone’s opinion is valid. In a group or meeting setting, they will never be the first to volunteer to lead a project, but if approached directly or in a one-on-one situation to be a leader of a task, they will never say no. Public recognition for accomplishments of being a good leader makes them very uncomfortable. A simple mahalo note is much more acceptable for unintentional leaders.
Followers of unintentional leaders are drawn to their style of leadership because there always tends to be a higher degree of trust, integrity and comfort that this leader brings to the table. Like my mother, and found commonly in Hawai‘i with our traditions of the extended family, unintentional leaders are the main-post or ka pouhana of their family unit. They are the ones that keep the family together when problems occur and host all the gatherings for family milestones like weddings, anniversaries, births and deaths.
In stressful situations, an unintentional leader remains cool and collected. However, they have a tendency to channel that stress inward rather than finding means of releasing it. I’d like to encourage you to honor and support the unintentional leader in your life, and if you’re having trouble trying to figure out who that is, it’s probably safe to assume that the unintentional leader is indeed you.
