Runaway is a reality that occurs everywhere, on the Mainland, O‘ahu and, yes, even on our beloved Kaua‘i. It is a problem that impacts all concerned. There is no doubt that when a young person considers running away, they believe
Runaway is a reality that occurs everywhere, on the Mainland, O‘ahu and, yes, even on our beloved Kaua‘i. It is a problem that impacts all concerned.
There is no doubt that when a young person considers running away, they believe that they must get away from something unbearable. That something could be an unsafe home situation, extreme sadness about a relationship breakup, intense pressure in school, loneliness or emotional stress from a family conflict.
The goal of runaway prevention is to help the teen identify, understand and build life skills that will help them cope more effectively with — rather than run away from — their source of stress. The information is derived from a curriculum provided by the National Runaway Switchboard.
This evidence-based program, which took three years to develop, is divided into 14 modules on subjects such as communication and listening, peers, stress reduction, and drugs and alcohol.
Callers to the National Runaway Switchboard often list communication, or a lack thereof, as an issue in their families.
Communication is important at any age and in any situation. Successful communication includes two parts: expressing your ideas, thoughts and feelings clearly to someone and listening accurately to the other person’s ideas, thoughts and feelings.
Ever had a conversation where you had great difficulty getting your point across? Where you felt as though the other person was not really listening?
Barriers to communication are things that make it more difficult for us to communicate. They can be emotions or the speaker’s state of mind or even the listener. A barrier can also be a physical object such as a noisy room.
So, whenever you experience trouble getting your point across, check to see if you can identify any possible barriers. Then, see if any of these are within your control to change.
A key skill in effective communication is called Active Listening. When you are using this skill, you are totally focused on what the other person is saying and you are able to confirm with them your understanding of their concern, feelings and emotions.
An important tool of Active Listening is paraphrasing and summarizing. The goal is to make sure that you and the other person are on the same page. To do so, you can sum up what was just said: “So, you said that you got really upset with your sister and you slammed the door on her.”
Then you make sure that you accurately understand what was said by using your own words: “Let’s see, you are mad at your sister because she read your journal without your permission.”
When communicating during a crisis, establish rapport, explore facts and feelings, focus on the main issues, explore options and create an action plan.
When helping someone solve a problem, maintain awareness, consider available resources, consider the role of communication, and include appropriate stress management techniques.
Effective communication can help in all aspects of everyday life, at home, work, school or in a relationship. It can make a difference in a routine situation as well as in a crisis.
As with any skills, learning effective communication takes time. With some practice, you will feel less awkward and more comfortable using this valuable tool.
• Tram Vuong Meadows is the Therapeutic Foster Home Program Therapist for Hale ‘Opio Kaua‘i. She can be reached at tmeadows@haleopio.org, or Hale ‘Opio Kaua‘i Inc., 2959 Umi St., Lihu’e, HI 96766
