Drugs are the reason most Kaua’i single parents, men and women, are single parents, said a Koloa woman raising a young son alone. “It is a difficult situation all around for a single parent when the other parent is involved
Drugs are the reason most Kaua’i single parents, men and women, are single parents, said a Koloa woman raising a young son alone.
“It is a difficult situation all around for a single parent when the other parent is involved with drugs,” the mother said. “It adds another dimension of difficulties trying to raise the child or children.
“It is difficult enough economically for the single parent raising the child or children, but when the other parent is involved with drugs, it is a catch-22 situation for the single parents who are the primary caretakers,” said the woman, who didn’t want her name used in this story.
“It is too expensive to rely solely on additional childcare, but the stress level of having the drug-user parent help with child care is tremendous, and leaves the custodial parent feeling trapped in this economic dilemma,” she said.
Being a single parent even with only one child requires dedication to self and family, she continued. She survives by working a full-time job, which provides family medical care.
She still receives rental assistance from the federal government, but no longer gets food stamps. Her son attends preschool, where he gets partial tuition assistance.
“What is beneficial to most single parents on the island is the safety net of having family help with child care. Work hours are all too often not nine to five,” she continued.
“It is difficult, if not just impossible, to find childcare providers available on evenings and weekends,” she says from experience.
“I am greatly thankful for the safety net of the state, and other social-service programs I have received up to this point. I am still struggling to be fully self-sufficient,” she said.
“I am lucky to have one of the better-paying jobs on Kaua’i at this time,” but there is danger she may lose the job, which requires some late-night and weekend hours, due to her inability to find suitable childcare during those hours.
Work demands are “causing hardship and extreme stress regarding care for my son during my working hours while he is not in school,” she said.
“After reading your article,” she said of earlier stories about how another single mother manages to make ends meet, and the high cost of attaining economic self-sufficiency, “I felt obligated to relay my own experience and perspective regarding this difficult, economic and social hardship faced by many on this island,” she explained.
“The amount of pay in the workforce needed by a single parent is a hurdle that is an extremely high one to reach, especially for women. For men, this level of pay is an easier goal to reach,” she concluded.
Staff Writer Paul C. Curtis can be reached at mailto:pcurtis@pulitzer.net or 245-3681 (ext. 224).
