As a young man seeking to make his mark in society, Kauaian Jan Rudinoff faced the lure of material wealth and status. Instead, Rudinoff chose to spend his time on something he felt was far more important, raising his children.
As a young man seeking to make his mark in society, Kauaian Jan Rudinoff faced the lure of material wealth and status.
Instead, Rudinoff chose to spend his time on something he felt was far more important, raising his children. He strived to instill in them a love for God and family, a sense of self-worth and self-confidence and compassion for others.
Rudinoff’s five children are all grown now, but the 59-year-old mister at St. Michael & All Angels’ Episcopal Church in Lihu’e remains an influence in their lives today.
Rudinoff, a 25-year resident of Kaua’i, stays in touch by e-mail or in person, and takes care of the infant child of one grown child.
Some of Rudinoff’s children will dine with him during a Father’s Day dinner at his home this evening.
“We are going to drink some good wine and Guinness Beer,” Rudinoff said jokingly.
Christopher Rudinoff, 33, works in the construction business in Stockholm, Sweden; Sarah Rudinoff, 29, is an actress in New York; Jeffrey Irons, 28, is a time-share salesperson on Kaua’i; Joshua Rudinoff, 27, also is a time-share salesperson on Kaua’i; and Elizabeth Rudinoff, 19, is a freshman at Scripps College in California.
To help foster a bond with his children, the elder Rudinoff, said his current wife of 26 years – Paula Rudinoff, a Kaua’i Realtor – began holding family dinners at their home three years ago.
Rudinoff said honoring the institution of marriage was the most important lesson he could pass on to his children.
“It is important that they understand the value of a good marriage, because it will allow them to honor and value another human being,” Rudinoff said.
His work as a clergyman in the 1970s on Kaua’i allowed him to bond with his children.
“I would take each child individually with me when I served Episcopal churches on the North Shore,” Rudinoff said. “We stopped off at the (now defunct) Kapa’a Bakery and the owners, Paul and Barbara Noshijo, would give them fresh pastry.”
His calling helped him to understand his children better, Rudinoff said.
“Being a minister helped me to listen, to allow my children to understand that my faith matters, and how I live it out,” he said.
His children, he said, were taught to be tolerant and to accept differences.
“They were exposed to the rich and poor, gay and straight, persons who were religious and those who were not,” Rudinoff said.
Although he leads a busy life as a minister, Rudinoff said he has always made time for his children.
“When you work a lot of hours, you cheat your family on the time they need,” he said. “So to be with your family, you have to cheat on your time at work. You have to keep the balance.”
Rudinoff said he learned how to be a good father from his father, Mortimer Rudinoff, a produce specialist who worked for Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company, a market chain similar to Safeway located in Virginia, Rudinoff’s home state.
“My father was a loving, caring husband, and he always had time for me,” Rudinoff said.
The only child of Mortimer and Virginia Rudinoff, who lives in a home next to Rudinoff in Lihu’e today, Rudinoff attended Virginia Military Institute in Richmond, Va.
It was the same school attended by U.S. Army Gen. George Marshall, who served as Army Chief of Staff throughout World War II and later as Secretary of State, and Gen. George Patton, the famous World War II tank commander.
While at the school, which he attended to build character, Rudinoff lettered in wrestling.
After graduation from the military school, Rudinoff was commissioned as a lieutenant in the Army and was sent to combat duty in Vietnam in 1965.
Rudinoff said he felt America was in the war for the right reasons when he began his tour of duty, but he changed his views as the war dragged on.
“I changed my mind because we were not there to win a the war,” he said.
Rudinoff left the military and came to Hawai’i in 1967 and – at age 25 – he surfed and managed the Pioneer Hotel in Lahaina, Maui.
Rudinoff didn’t want to return to his home state because he was recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder and wanted a different environment in which to recover.
He said he later chose to attend the Virginia Theological Seminary in Alexandria, Virginia, “looking for my soul” and to rekindle his dedication to his faith.
“I always found meaning in church, even as a youngster,” Rudinoff said.
Rudinoff became an Episcopal deacon in Richmond, Va. and in 1972, was ordained a priest and became a minister at St. Phillips Church in Tucson, Ariz.
In 1974, he became the minister at St. Michael’s Church, where he has remained because “I love the people, place and ministry.”
The secret to being a good role model and father today is to have “a good self-image that you can share or communicate to your children, so they can have a good sense of themselves,” Rudinoff said.
Staff writer Lester Chang can be reached at 245-3681 (ext. 225) and mailto:lchang@pulitzer.net
