My three sons

KILAUEA — David Carmack is the father of three boys, all under the age of 7.

It takes patience, energy and dedication.

But Carmack can handle the job and it’s funny to look back just a little while and remember his fatherly duties weren’t in quite as much demand. 

Around two years ago, it was just Carmack and his son, Dawson. But Carmack’s son had befriended the son of Carmack’s future wife, Krysta. Except Carmack didn’t know that part yet.

“Our boys were best friends right away,” Carmack said. “They were playing together, swinging on a rope down at Lumahai Beach before Krysta and I even met. We started talking, small talk, and didn’t really hit it off right away.”

That was in 2012. Less than two years later, David and Krysta were married on that same beach with their sons, Miles and Dawson, as ring bearers. A third child, the couple’s only together, rounds out the family. And one big family it is — that’s where the energy part comes in.

Both husband and wife work hospitality jobs. Krysta works as a server at Neide’s Salsa and Samba Restaurant in Hanalei and David as an attendant parking cars and carting hundreds of pounds of luggage each day to rooms at the Westin Princeville Ocean Resort and Villas.

“I easily cover eight to 13 miles a day at work according to my pedometer,” said Carmack, of Kilauea. “I can do as many as 20 bags on one trip to a guest room and the resort is the size of a football field from one end to the other.”

And like millions of fathers everywhere, while he punches a time clock, he’s still a parent. He works days, she works nights, to split the load.

“He doesn’t get much of a break,” Krysta said.

But the time demands are worth it, Carmack said.

“I knew since I was 8 years old that I wanted to have a son,” he said.

And each child is different, the father said.

Carmack spends hours sitting on the floor surrounded with thousands of Lego blocks, a favorite of one son. The dad is attuned to the unique personalities of each of his boys.

“I tailor my parenting style to meet their emotional needs,” Carmack said. “My son Dawson is a whirling dervish. He is headstrong and fearless. My son Miles is always thinking ahead. He is emotionally aware, observant and mature.”

Dr. Kayse Budd, a psychiatrist who counsels families on Kauai and also serves people’s needs on Maui, the Big Island and the Mainland, said that observation can be a great teaching tool for any father. 

A great way to nurture a child is for a parent to look at the young one and ask, “How I can help this child?”

She said each kid is a gemstone that needs to be polished and parents should look for each individual’s uniqueness. But a parent shouldn’t project their own wishes on the child if the child isn’t as interested, such as an athletic father whose own child doesn’t like sports. 

“The father greatly benefits by being open to the natural gifts of his child,” Budd said, adding dads should also be open to learn from their kids. “Can I be taught by my child’s unique gifts and wisdom?”

Carmack said he is grateful for his father’s life lessons that were passed along to him. He cherishes each new discovery his children make. He has taught them how to surf, swim, dive and skateboard. But Carmack thinks the virtue of sharing has been a particularly good lesson to teach.

“I’m trying to teach my boys patience and humility and respect and an awareness of the world,” Carmack said. “How to be selfless. I’m trying to teach them that, ‘This world is not about you, dude.’”

• Lisa Ann Capozzi, features reporter can be reached at lcapozzi@thegardenisland.com