Oh, August. Every year, you tease me with visions of an injury-free fantasy football season. Your warm sunny afternoons allow me to sit outside and pore over magazines and cheat sheets, figuring out which wide receivers are playing for a
Oh, August.
Every year, you tease me with visions of an injury-free fantasy football season. Your warm sunny afternoons allow me to sit outside and pore over magazines and cheat sheets, figuring out which wide receivers are playing for a new contract, dissecting the Bengals’ strength of schedule, analyzing the effects of circular wind patterns at Soldier Field.
Food tastes amazing, all music sounds like The Beatles, late-night roosters are only somewhat annoying. There’s confidence and optimism everywhere I look.
Then September comes along and transforms me into a muttering buffoon, sputtering down the sidewalk in my bathrobe. If you listen closely, you’ll probably hear some of these remarks:
“Why didn’t I remember that Cedric Benson falls down when he sees his shadow?”
“So I should have known that Kurt Warner, a 38-year-old quarterback who can’t move and plays in a pass-happy offense, was an injury risk?”
“LenDale White, a guy only effective inside the 3-yard line, lost 30 pounds this offseason and I still thought he’d be a touchdown machine?”
Actually, it’s unlikely that I’ll be saying any of these things next month because I’m already aware of them. However, I will be uttering other things that are certain to catch me by surprise once the season starts.
But let’s let that negativity happen organically. It’s still August and preparing for a fantasy football draft is one of the most enjoyable processes of my calendar year.
Fantasy sports are always fun for me, because it adds another element to each sports season. Even when my favorite teams like the Mets (check), Knicks (check) and Giants (we’ll see) happen to stink, there’s a whole group of players I can follow each week with actual rooting interest.
However, I’m convinced that football is best suited for fantasy leagues. The time commitment is less than that of baseball or basketball where games are basically every day. With your football team, you can obsess as much or as little as you please during the week, then set your lineup before the weekend and be good to go.
But the real fun is draft day. I’m a sucker for a draft of any sort. Whether it’s an actual draft with college players getting plucked into the pros, or a fantasy draft in one of my friends’ apartments, something about that selection process always gets me feeling giddy.
That’s right, giddy.
The live fantasy football draft is the apex of giddiness. It’s the one fantasy sport where strategy is key and one player can completely swing your team’s fate. If your first-round pick busts up his knee in preseason, chances are you won’t be hoisting your league’s trophy.
If your 11th-round rookie sleeper is the starting running back by Week 3, all of a sudden you probably have the team to beat.
Then there’s the trash talking. Fantasy football drafts usually contain trash talk that would make Terrell Owens blush.
Nobody likes to see football players get injured, but we LOVE to see fantasy owners draft players who have been injured in the past.
“Hey Jim, your four running backs only have a total of three ACL’s left. Was that by design? Are you hoping they can all share to boost team morale?”
“Tom, you know that we’re not using stats from 2004 in this league, right?”
Unfortunately, I’ll be attending my drafts this year via satellite. But I’m taking the optimistic approach and thinking that will just allow me to have more prepared jokes and not have to bring any food.
I’ll be back with some fantasy chatter in the coming weeks, but for now, remember:
It’s still August.
We’re all undefeated.
