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Letters for Saturday, April 11, 2020

He thought better of taking on Easter Bunny

‘Twas Good Friday before Easter, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The finest of clothes were hung on the line with great care,

In the hopes that by Sunday they would dry in the air.

The keiki were resting, finally asleep in their beds,

While heroic deeds and funny pranks enraptured their heads.

And Mom in her mumu, and I in the nude,

Were awakened by noises, so late and so rude.

My brain was still foggy. I was fighting a flu,

So I was slow to hear the hullabaloo.

I went to the window, my feet bare and cold,

Almost fell on my face, on a Lego I rolled.

I opened the drapes, and threw up pale green,

I hoped to the heavens it wasn’t COVID-19.

I rubbed my eyes hard, to focus my sight,

It was dark and still the middle of the night.

The moonlight had pierced the dark clouds for a bit,

And what did I see? A huge white rabbit!

So slow did it move, first I thought it a rock,

‘Till it turned and exclaimed, “Eh, what’s up, Doc?”

I heard it chomp on a carrot, two, and then three.

“You stop that,” I cried. “Come down and make me.”

I looked all around for something to throw,

But Mom took my hand saying, “Just let it go.”

“She’s just checking the garden. She’ll be elsewhere next eve,

Her work will be done; colored eggs she will leave.

The children will chortle, they’ll race ‘round the space,

poking their hands into each hiding place.”

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The splatter of an egg, and a “Hey, you big goof,

Stick your head out again, give me a chance.”

Another egg splashed; that broke my trance.

I raced down the stairs to confront that hair-raising hare,

But she didn’t run away, just gave me a stare.

Up close I could see she was much bigger than me.

So I heeded Mom’s words; I’d just let it be.

Her feet: how they thumped.

Her ears: long and straight.

Her nose: it just quivered,

Mouth: full of carrots she ate.

She held her furry fore paws just like a fighter,

So I abandoned any thought of trying to smite her.

The stump of a turnip she held tight in her teeth,

While turnip and carrot greens littered beneath.

She had a white fluffy tail, and ears that made her so tall!

I felt just like poor Alice, when she was “just this small.”

She calmed down when she saw I was no longer a threat,

Said, “I’m the Easter Bunny.” And that’s how we met.

A wink from her eye, and a twitch of her tail,

Let me sigh with relief, sure that peace would prevail.

She spoke right to the point, a trait I hold dear.

“How many kids you got living in there?”

“Bout a dozen, right now,” I said so she’d hear.

“I’ll hide my eggs now, on Sunday they’ll cheer.”

She bustled round the courtyard and into each room,

Leaving things I saw not, then away she did zoom.

But I heard her explain, before she faded from sight.

“On Easter morning they’ll see them. For now, please sleep tight.”

Jed Somit, Kapa‘a

Modly hatchet man in Crozier issue

Acting Navy Secretary Tom Modly resigned today in the aftermath of his badly bungled response to Capt. Brett Crozier’s recently publicized coronavirus SOS (Save our Sailors).

When asked about that, President Trump waffled, as usual, saying Crozier should be fired (in private meetings), then saying he might get involved (after Modly trashed Crozier’s character in a speech on the Roosevelt), then saying he feels bad about Crozier, but also that he shouldn’t have “written a letter.”

Trump micromanages every issue that might in any way connect to him, clearly marking Modly as Trump’s hatchet man in this matter.

One imagines that nothing Modly did, not even his resignation, was unknown to Trump beforehand. Regardless of anyone’s opinion about general adherence to the chain of command, it is essential to military order, and Modly isn’t the chief villain here, merely the latest chump bartering character and integrity for a chance to kiss Trump’s bejeweled hand.

Rich Ragland, Koloa

Mahalo to the essential workers

A nephew of mine who lives in South Korea recently reported that life there is returning to normal. Restaurants, offices and shops are re-opening. The country, which had been hit hard by coronavirus, seems to be well on its way to recovery. He attributed this improvement in large to Koreans’ willingness to obey government health directives.

Perhaps this news will encourage people here to have patience and to support local efforts to keep our population safe.

Thanks are due to our government, medical, media, education and other workers who are trying hard to help. Thanks also to ordinary citizens who are doing their bit. Imua Kaua‘i. We have survived floods and hurricanes; we shall survive this.

Heuionalani Wyeth, Anahola

Tourism can wait

I am appalled to see the opinion piece published by TGI by ex-County Councilmember Gary Hooser. What credentials does Mr. Hooser have in regards to public health? Because in his piece he makes many flawed arguments about his vision for having us all “hugging and high-fiving” once we’ve completely eliminated COVID-19 infection from Kaua‘i.

He first thinks it is possible to test every last person on Kaua‘i — something that simply is impossible. We could get 95-98%, but there will always be people who would refuse a blood test for any reason. And what about the homeless population?

Aside from the flawed idea of 100% testing for residents, he proposes testing every single visitor with a test they take the day before they get on a plane to Kaua‘i. Can’t a person become infected after they’ve been tested? Of course. It can take several days of infection to test positive with antibody tests. That fact alone undermines this plan entirely. It only takes one infected person to infect dozens and put us right back where we are.

These ideas are flawed and this kind of opinion piece leads to more confusion and more problems treating COVID-19 in our small community. This idea that we’re going to make Kaua‘i a COVID-19-free location, just so we can bring the tourists back, is offensive and completely deaf to the needs of the residents, health-care workers and first responders of this island. There are 14 ventilators on Kaua‘i, Mr Hooser. Tourism can wait.

John Patterson, Kapa‘a

Maybe Hawai‘i should stop surfing

Now is not the time to become complacent. If California can close off their surf breaks, which they did beginning today, so can the state of Hawai‘i. You don’t believe surfers do not practice safe social distancing? Just go to and pull up Pipeline.

With aloha.

Deb Dixon, Kapa‘a

  1. Ginger Doll April 11, 2020 4:20 am Reply

    Gary Hooser, a former elected public official, has been dealing with issues concerning Kauai’s citizens for years. He opinions have value. You may disagree but see what he says before you reach a conclusion.
    We all want to keep Kauai safe. How can we object to the idea of testing visitors before they leave the Mainland?
    I thing visitors would agree that it’s a better way than quarantine for 14 days upon arrival.

  2. therealhawaiian April 11, 2020 5:37 am Reply

    It’s amazing what a human can do when it’s alone, isolated, and bored out of it’s mind! Create a great read and entertaining poem/story for their fellow man (women, and rabbits)! Thank you Jed, and happy isolation to all!

    Then, of course, a brainless commenter has to break the togetherness by finding some small, pulled out of his rear end, excuse to bash Trump who is doing a remarkable job under incredibly tense and horrifying circumstances. The only real part of his ridiculous letter is that the author should indeed kiss the bejeweled hand of President Trump! He’s the only politician in America who actually earned those jewels by accomplishing something outside of the Government tit suckers who have brainwashed the more vulnerable among us with their fake investigations, news media, and biased news pundits who have been brainwashed themselves! All of who permeate both Parties! Vote Trump in 2020. It’s the smart and wise thing to do for your children’s future!

  3. Joe Gott, Yucaipa CA April 11, 2020 6:06 am Reply

    Just a reminder that regardless that COVID-19 is ravaging our country and killing thousands, there’s always time to whine about a president. Sad.

    1. George April 11, 2020 6:22 pm Reply

      Conversely, Joe. There would possibly be alot less deaths if your boy had not gotten rid of the pandemic team. Had read his memos. Had stopped worrying about the economy and his ego. And saddest of all that you feel compelled to defend the guy.

  4. kauaidoug April 11, 2020 9:56 am Reply

    Jed Somit, bravo a masterpiece to be read every Easter to young and old alike!

  5. RG DeSoto April 11, 2020 10:23 am Reply

    Deb…what a monumentally stupid idea. Better to stay locked up and out of the fresh air and sunlight, deplete your D3 and become susceptible to all sorts of illness? Perfect!
    RG DeSoto

  6. no deb April 11, 2020 2:39 pm Reply

    deb you can go live in california then if you don’t like the surfers…

  7. Colin McCleod April 11, 2020 3:06 pm Reply

    “If California can close off their surf breaks, which they did beginning today, so can the state of Hawai‘i.”
    Another transplant pining for the nonsense of places they left to come live in Hawaii. If you think that Kalifornia is “doing the right thing” by shutting down surfing….well, just pack up and get the hell out of here. But no matter what, just leave us alone.
    C. McCleod

  8. Judy April 11, 2020 4:47 pm Reply

    Thank you to therealhawaiian!!! I was beginning to think the entire island had their head in the sand (which by the way is off limits!) To those that think for themselves and find this mayor having his moment of dictatorship in implementing a curfew, shutting down landscapers for god sakes, closing down golf courses, having the national guard and people just innocently stopped on the roads of Kauai…WAKE UP KAUAI!!! Wake the hell up!!! This is not right!!! YES we need to protect the elderly and the immune compromised! But this is starting to make zero sense! At this point on Kauai, there should be zero risk and yet the restrictions continue! By the way, there is a cure. The dems may wish for you to continue in fear. But there is a very simple cure. In fact there’s numerous cures. But they want you to live in fear because where there is fear, there is control. Have you seen a little bit of control in the past few weeks??? Hmmmm…..wake up! Use your common sense. Stand for you, your Ohana and the island of Kauai. We are so much better than this! WE are so much stronger than this! I remember growing up I would see a bumper sticker that said, “Question Authority.” I never knew what that meant. I now know what that means! Stand up people! Protect those that need to be protected but we need to live a healthy outdoor life that is not dictated to us by our local government that is exceeding what is know as common sense!

    1. Oh Judy April 13, 2020 2:25 pm Reply

      I do so look forward to you proving these ‘cures’ of which you speak.

  9. Debra Kekaualua April 12, 2020 7:55 am Reply

    Tickled that TGI allows this particular “brainless” thankfully EX-politician to have Guest publishing and those of us awakened and repeatedly kicked under the kauai bus for “guest” publishing that is truth and has integrity that Hooze doesnt have. The COK, Kauai bus, KHS, judiciary hierarchy and many many Kauaians that are carrying another kind of virus like the “guilty kealoha stolen mailbox” fraud and corruption which has been highlighted, like gasgate, tax evasion, or criminalization via judiciary, that somehow these people are all above the “pointy finger” laws, but via these same Epstein types and Tgi peeps, who still thinks there is “value” received from the very same crooks that made this mess to begin with. Retroactively, their time is over. These slithering snakes have been busted so often, that it is time for us to lock them up in a prison setting, while at the same juncture releasing innocents, so that these supposed leaders get the cell that an innocent was released from. You cannot fool us any longer. These same peoples set up Mr Brun and are on the worldwide list, which includes their very own proverbial mark of the beast. Lock them in the “kupuna” dannerhola dog houses and include all that hui that our lists outline.

  10. Craig Millett April 12, 2020 8:19 am Reply

    To therealhawaiian,
    The United States has the worst record in the world for dealing with COVID-19 and you ignorantly call this a “remarkable job”? If Trump ever told the truth it would have been an accident. “The Big Lie” is loose in our country and you have yourself caught up in it.

  11. Sue April 12, 2020 9:28 am Reply


    Surfing does not violate social distancing. Out in the water people don’t sit on top of one another. It may look that way from land, but you since you are far away when looking at them, it is all perspective. People are not socializing when surfing. There isn’t much talking going on out there. It is great exercise, excellent time spent being in the “here and now’, and a nice way to get vitamin D.

    There are still places in California where people are allowed to surf. Santa Barbara is still open to surfers. As one goes farther north, there are fewer surfers in California. With the tourists gone, there are less surfers here, and we can spread out better.

    Please do some research before you write a letter to the editor like this. Quite a few people, keiki to kupuna, would lose their free outlet to exercise, if they couldn’t surf.

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