Ige extends disaster relief

Aloha Kakou,

If those Nortshore ones is so uptight about the 2nd flood coming, the flood of locals and tourists to their little corner of Kauai accumulatedly and acceleratedly taken from them over the last few decades, perhaps it wise that Gov Ige use some of that Emergency Proclamation Disaster Relief Mney to open a Visa and Tousrist VISA office for locals and offshore visitors alike to procure such VISA before being allowed to even cross the Hanalei Bridge.

You know simple and typical Visa requirements : citizenship, last 5 years of fed state and excise tax returns, Social Security Number, phone number with 808, date of birth, 6 copies of a selfie photo taken same day as registration, car insurance, safety check certificate, car registration, mileage, your last 24 pay stubs, if self employed well too bad for you, your Dunn and Bradstreet rating, your list of medications, College diploma as high school grads no need apply, your shoes must be polished, no tank tops or bikinis, shorts or cut offs, proof the underside of your car is clean of bufo and other endangered species like night screaming micro frogs, and egrit nests.

We can slow this invasion. Senior police will man the Hanalei Bridge, armed to the teeth, like 007 Jaws, on overtime of course, keeping out visa-less sojourners heading west (a natural thing for Americans), and of course under no circusstances allow anyone residing west of the Hanalei Bridge to go East over same. More Taro is needed, 5 million plants to outdo those coffee barons on the west side…push and pull more taro…do your duty and due diligence.

Order will be restored, but postcard sales of Hanalei, Haena, Kalalau, etc. will be sold on the bridge by the smiling senior police officials, making it a perfect world.

Charlie