Individuals are ultimately the only people who determines whether or not we feel at peace inside.
Perhaps the majority of the population feels differently, as being a victim of someone else’s actions is a big part of our culture. I have a few stories that might shed a different light on the subject.
When I took Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ “Life Death and Transition” class, she shared a story about the holocaust. Sadly, over 6 million people were murdered because they weren’t the right ethnic group. Probably the majority who knew what was going on were not at peace, fearing for their lives and those of their loved ones. But they found a room where children were kept, and in it were hundreds of butterfly pictures scratched into the dirty walls. There is speculation that they were coached that if they lost their physical lives, they would be transformed into a beautiful new life, like the butterflies that they loved so well, so they drew their butterflies.
A prisoner of war in a German camp tells the tale of how he played 18 holes of golf every day in his mind so that he would not be aware of the cruelty and devastation around him. Research now shows that the body reacts to inner images in the same way as it does to a person actually experiencing the same thing in the world. The power of the mind is incredible.
My very favorite book right now is “Love the Person You’re With, Life-changing insights from the most compelling near-death experiences ever recorded,” by David Sunfellow. He interviewed 29 people who were legally pronounced dead, but who came back, and had incredible experiences to teach to us.
Chapter 28 relates some of Anita Moorjani’s experience. I read her book “Dying to be Me,” and it was a very positive influence in my life when I was dealing with cancer. This excerpt of her story is probably the most mind blowing. I have permission to share it. She was given 36 hours at best to live. She had kidney and liver failure. Her intestines had stopped functioning. Her skin had open wounds where toxins tried to escape. She had fluid in her lungs and around her heart and brain. Her diagnosis was lymphoma, and she had many lymph nodes the size of lemons in her body. She was unconscious, but experienced an expanded sacred near death experience.
She chose life and was told, “We can’t believe it!! Her body really did seem like it had shut down!” They really didn’t believe it, and wanted to biopsy a lymph node. However, in those few days it took to get it scheduled, not one lymph node looked large enough to be cancerous. The doctor said to biopsy the largest one, and it showed no cancer. By the time the plastic surgeon was ready to try to repair the oozing sores on her skin, they had healed. She walked out of the hospital in six weeks, so she could go to a wedding!
Now I’m not saying that we should all want or try to live forever. Howard Storm, another NDEer had a glimpse of the future. On page 158 he relates, “When people had experienced what they felt was their full life experience, there would be a great celebration, and they would lay down and die and their souls, their spirits would be raised up to heaven … It was celebrated as a joyous time … as a birth.
“There was no disease because people, with laying on of hands, could heal diseases immediately.
The only real suffering that they showed me was sometimes people felt a sense of separateness. And the community would allow these people to feel that, but they would pray for that person, they would surround that person with love and bring that person back into the community..No one was …ever lost for very long. It was important sometimes for people to feel; to appreciate what they had. They needed to lose a little bit of it once in awhile.” And he was told that this world was not far off.
My late ex-mother-in-law Mickey had polio and wasn’t expected to walk again. But her grandmother would not accept it. She cherished Mickey. Made her feel loved. Every day she would massage those legs and tell them that they would walk, and run and dance. Later in life she won awards for her dancing.
I just finished mentoring a new Peer Mediation Team at Waimea High School with Jessie Basquez of KEO. In one of our practice role plays, the disputants had fought before, and were referred for mediation.
There were two mediations. Mediation agreements are decided by the disputants under the empathetic questions asked by the mediators. In one mock agreement, the disputants chose to keep their distance and not get into each other’s space.
The other specifically said no “rough play” but maybe we get together to see if we could be friends.” And they tuned in to what people do in life. We choose futures that bring us certain results.
When we love the person we’re with, the first person we love has be us! We all want to be loved. We were made by a loving Creator to be loved and loving. We are all lovable.
When we remember, we all become loving. When one person forgets that, let’s remind him/her by being loving back, by giving them the benefit of the doubt, by forgiving.
The Universe pays attention and appreciates every loving act we do. It was recorded all throughout the book. And kindness makes you feel good. I have high hopes for peace for all of us.
Hale `Opio Kaua’i convened a support group of adults in our Kaua’i community to “step into the corner” for our teens, to answer questions and give support to youth and their families on a wide variety of issues. Please email your questions or concerns facing our youth and families today to Annaleah Atkinson at firstname.lastname@example.org For more information about Hale ‘Opio Kaua’i, please go to www.haleopio.org