When it comes to “Love & Respect,” Tim and Lynn Mira are believers. Big time. “This program has helped me realize that one is not right, and the other person wrong,” Lynn said. “Most of the time, we’re just different.
When it comes to “Love & Respect,” Tim and Lynn Mira are believers. Big time.
“This program has helped me realize that one is not right, and the other person wrong,” Lynn said. “Most of the time, we’re just different. It’s OK to be different. And it’s really not about us individually, anyway. There is definitely a bigger picture that needs to be considered.”
Tim, with a smile, puts it a little more bluntly.
“This program showed me how my wife isn’t crazy,” he said. “We’re not wrong, just different.”
The Kauai couple are promoting the upcoming man/woman relationship building program taught by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah. It’s based on Christian principles, “specifically for marriages, but helpful for any male/female relationship.”
The free class is held once a week, an hour and a half a night, for five weeks, starting this month. That’s seven and a half hours, Tim and Lynn say, that could change marriages for the better. Even save them. The program can provide the bond relationships need to survive those rocky stretches sure to come along.
“It’s a small investment for what could be huge benefits for your family,” Lynn said.
The Miras started hosting the DVD class in June 2009 and have continued hosting it each year, since. This month’s showing of Love & Respect will be the 19th in Kauai.
They note that other couples and churches have joined them in hosting the islandwide classes that have been attended by nearly 1,000 Kauai residents.
“The program relates to situations and feelings that I can relate to, that many of us can relate to,” Lynn said. “The program is easy to attend, you just sit and watch. No sharing your feelings with other people. No journaling. It’s kinda like a movie night.”
Although it’s a DVD presentation, Lynn said the speaker is entertaining.
“I have personally watched this program over 30 times, and there is still something to be learned, to be reminded of, each time,” she said.
Likewise for Tim.
“I like the material and presentation. Dr. Eggerichs hits the nail on the head when describing what most couples go through,” he said.
They know of the impact Love & Respect has made in other lives.
“We have seen couples on the verge of divorce or separation, reassess their situation and choose to stay together,” Lynn said. “Of course, we make no guarantee this will happen, and this is definitely not a fix all, but sometimes our point of view of the relationship just needs some adjustment.”
If that is the case, many times Love & Respect can help. It might even assist with the rare ability to “decode” what the other is truly saying.
“I’ve seen marriages saved, and lives changed by this program,” Tim said.
And Love & Respect is not just for troubled marriages.
“We were not in a troubled marriage situation when we first saw this program, but what we learned about each other’s needs were aha moments for our relationship, actually, life changing,” Lynn said.
“You suddenly realize, ‘No wonder my husband/wife does that. Now I get it,’” she said.
She said the program makes men and women realize their situations are not unique. Many couples are experiencing similar communication roadblocks.
That’s why the program’s relaxed flavor sits right with most couples.
“That puts a lot of people at ease,” she said. “There is much laughter in the class when Dr. Emerson gives an example of a male/female misunderstanding that almost everyone can relate to. There is much head nodding and elbowing each other, that’s why we keep the lights down.”
Tim says for those looking to make their relationship better, these classes are a must. He puts it in an analogy of marriage to a baseball game.
“A couple, who in years of a marital baseball game, hits singles and doubles most of the time. They were approached by a batting coach who told them that he could teach them how to hit home runs every time they stepped up to bat. Wouldn’t you want to know how?” Tim says.
“I encourage men to come to the first session, and just check it out. Usually, by the end of the first DVD, they will have heard Dr. Emerson explain something that they’ve felt for such a long time, but didn’t know how to put into words. And then they are going to want to hear more.”
Lynn said people have told them they wished they had seen the Love & Respect program sooner.
“So I would say, new couple, listen to the words of wisdom. It may save your relationship from a lot of misunderstanding,” she said.
And for those long-married couple? Can the program help them, too?
Lynn says absolutely.
“You’re never too long-married to learn something new,” she said. “Or maybe it will confirm what you thought all this time.”
