The word resolution comes from the word resolve: to decide firmly on a course of action. It can also mean to find a solution for a problem, or cause a medical symptom to go away. New Year’s Eve is associated
The word resolution comes from the word resolve: to decide firmly on a course of action. It can also mean to find a solution for a problem, or cause a medical symptom to go away. New Year’s Eve is associated with making new resolutions. One year is over and a new one is beginning. It’s a great time to reflect upon what worked in the past year and what needs to be improved upon. So people resolve to change and make their “New Year’s resolutions.”
Some people actually make a vision board of their goals. They find pictures of what they want to express in their lives in a magazine or print it from the web. They then glue them onto poster or foam board. The brain loves pictures as directives. Sometimes people add words, or their resolutions to the board. Then review them daily to focus on them. If you Google “vision boards,” you’ll come up with 42,000,000 hits. Check out “images.” Some are fantastic! Some phrases are “I am powerful,” “Earn Baby Earn,” “Beautiful Surroundings,” “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” “Recycle.” “Eat your Veggies.” I had fun looking at them and I recommend it.
However, looking at pictures of what we want doesn’t assure that our resolutions will be fulfilled. How do we recycle? It means setting up a system in our homes and taking trips to the recycling areas. We still have to grow or shop for the veggies and prepare them to be eaten. We’ve got to find that job to earn, baby. So a vision board refocuses us on what we think is important. To make it a holistic experience, it helps to pray before the vision board is made and wait for some intuition to tell you what to put on the board. Then we can assume that you’re more in alignment with the divine purpose for our lives, too.
Jeffrey Pears, MA, NCC, is a bereavement care associate for Kauai Hospice Inc. He has other hats as well, and one of them is helping other people create a positive lifestyle, by identify their values (what’s important to them) and then to live their life in accord with their values. He can be reached at (808) 634-9992.
He states, “If we want to change our lives, we have to look at what’s not working in our life and why it’s not working. Sometimes we get into negative habits, and negative habit loops, repeating them over and over again, but expecting different results.
“We need to identify what those habit loops are, then make positive changes in our routine, then consciously reinforce our positive routines until they become a new habit.”
We establish habits that create neural pathways that reinforce those habits. Often the habits are unconscious. If we want our resolutions to stick, and our lives to change, we have to change our thinking. You can’t think the same way and expect things to change.
Jeffrey has a website devoted to helping people change their lives. It is www.LivingYour Passion.org. He writes about changing habits. The summary is that habits can help us live our lives more efficiently. Think of writing your name. In the beginning you had to learn how to hold pencil and paper, then learn how to make straight or curved lines, then circles, then capitals, and learn how to get them together in order. It took time. But with the habit of writing your name you can write it in a jiffy!
Habits are made by being rewarded with something that makes you feel better. Every time I went to the dentist as a child, my mom took me out for ice cream. It helped her get me to do what she wanted me to do, but sometimes when I get stressed I reach for sweets. I can’t do that now, so now I’ve found out that I love raw carrots!
Jeffrey’s website mentions the book “The Power of Habit, and Why we do What we do in Life and Business” by Pulitzer Prize reporter Charles Duhigg. It takes a look at the science of how we form habits and how we can break them. It’s behavioral science. When we get stimulated, we respond with a behavior. If that behavior is rewarded, we are likely to try it again. Duhigg says we must make sure that it is rewarded, or reinforced, and repeat and repeat until it becomes a new habit pattern that we like. Some people who want to quit smoking put money into a jar every time they don’t smoke when they wanted to and the money over a certain amount of time goes to a dinner out, a new outfit, or something that they love.
By the way, the physiological craving for tobacco or alcohol ceases after three days. The remaining craving is psychological … a bad habit wanting to be reinforced … or changed?
My very favorite website today is that of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Ted Talk on youtube.com. Treat yourself to checking it out. It shows actual neurons (nerve cells) at work, and a graphic of how new brain patterns are formed. Dispenza states that when you repeat and reward a new activity, the old habit patterns fall away as if unglued to the nerve cells. At least start at 7:43 minutes into it to see how an old story is changed, and to see the neurons connect.
The last suggestion that has been proven to work is to get together with a friend, write your resolutions down and the actions you will take to achieve them. Exchange them. Call each other every few days or week or so and share how it’s working for you. In a study of 267 subjects from different businesses, 76 percent of those who did this completed their goals (resolutions). Only 149 completed the study. Do you think they met their goals?
So let’s go for it! Let’s get closer to living the highest ideal or dream we can imagine for our lives. May our Happy New Year last all year long!
Hale `Opio Kaua’i convened a support group of adults in our Kaua’i community to “step into the corner” for our teens, to answer questions and give support to youth and their families on a wide variety of issues. Please email your questions or concerns facing our youth and families today to Annaleah Atkinson at aatkinson@haleopio.org
