Bloody Beer

Even a Titan has to ease up sometimes and drink light beer. But in most cases, that’s an insult to the status and duties of a Titan. In such cases, there’s only one acceptable solution: weigh that light beer down and make it look like you’re drinking blood.

Bloody Beer’s origins are foggy at best; many regions seem to claim it, and it’s almost a drinking rite of passage to discover you want a bloody Mary but all you have is some cheap beer and a bottle of Clamato you don’t remember buying, and then you combine the two and think you invented something.

Denizens of the rural Pacific Northwest often claim it, but this Titan was introduced to it decades ago on O‘ahu by a Californian.

Budweiser even adds a little lime and cans it with the Mexican-sounding name Chelada.

Wherever it comes from, and whatever version one comes up with, it has two essential elements: watered-down beer and some form of tomato juice. Because Titans are powerful, they prefer Clamato. Plus, enough people are queasy about the idea of clam juice that few, if any, of a Titan’s friends will bogart his Bloody Beer.

It’s tasty but not essesntial to add a couple shakes of salt and pepper.

Titans don’t generally need measurements or recipes, but mere mortals sometimes do (note: Titans just give a best guess at what a recipe might be rather than actually look one up; using the Internet or reference materials is unbecoming of a Titan. Plus, the wi-fi is spotty at Mt. Olympus).

Here goes:

Bloody Beer

1 12-oz. can of decent light beer

4 oz. Clamato or other tomato juice

Salt and pepper to taste

Wedge of lime

Pour the beer in at least a pint glass and drink a swallow or two, then fill the rest of the glass with Clamato and throw in a pinch of salt and another of pepper to taste. Err on the side of caution, as the salt makes a little foam. Or don’t, because neither “err” nor “caution” are part of a Titan’s vocabulary. Titans don’t mix fruit and beer but mortals sometimes do, so that’s where the lime comes in.


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