Lessons from reality TV can solve nation’s crisis

As President Obama tries to push yet another job plan through Congress, I can’t help but pause and wonder if there’s ever going to be an end to this sluggish economy.

When a 101-year-old gets foreclosed upon and evicted from her home, you know things aren’t getting better.

But these doom-and-gloom headlines don’t bother me. For most of my adult life, all I’ve heard is talking heads preaching about all the pleasantries my generation can expect.

We won’t have social security. Our retirement age is being pushed back to 72 (that’s if I am ever able to retire). And it looks like women are still fighting to be paid the same salary as men who do the exact same job.

In the four-and-a-half years I spent in college, the economy went from soaring high to taking a dump. It just so happened my major (print journalism) didn’t seem that great of a career choice, as newspapers were being bludgeoned to death. The best advice my guidance counselor had for me was to stay in school until the economy leveled out. I would be a fourth-year senior, if I listened to her.

When President Bush told us to spend, my generation spent wisely. We spent on our college education — taking out loans with the federal government. Now, the average college student is saddled with $23,000 of debt by the time they graduate, according to an article in the Wall Street Journal.

Our thanks is being released into the worst job market in 50 years, fighting for minimum-wage jobs that may or may not come with health benefits.

Well, I’m tired of the dilly-dallying of Washington and the mess that my parent’s generation left for us (sorry mom and dad, but you did kind of screw everything up).

Why don’t you put the task of getting the economy back on track in the hands of Generation Y?

Sure, we may spend most of our time online maintaining our virtual farms. OK, we may or may not know where Iraq is on the map.

But, gray-haired folks in Washington, it’s high time to hand over the reins and take a few lessons from Generation Facebook.

Yuuuuuuuuup!

For instance, let’s look at our unhealthy addiction to reality television.

There’s pageant queens, bridezillas, pawn stars, animal hoarders, little people with pit bulls and extreme couponers.

If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that I can purchase thousands of dollars worth of groceries for $3.27; that I can purchase storage lockers and sell their filthy contents and make a profit; and that I can bilk prize money by parading my would-be daughter on the pageant stage.

Taking these lessons to heart, we can fix this economy. Sprinkle some extreme couponing here and there to fix the budget deficit, throw in some crazed bridezillas to handle international relations (they always seem to get their way) and viola! No more economic crisis.

• Andrea Frainier, lifestyle writer, can be reached at 245-3681, ext. 257 or afrainier@ thegardenisland.com.

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