Something new for Friday, August 5, 2011

“I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.” — Pee-Wee Herman.

I must admit “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” is, hands down, my favorite movie of all time. I must have watched this film a hundred times, and it still leaves me in stitches (and slightly envious of his tricked-out bicycle).

My problem is not many people share my enthusiasm for P. W. Herman. So, I’d watch it alone.

 In fact, I’ve watched a lot of movies alone. And before you start screaming spinster, hear me out.

In our society, there’s a stigma about going anywhere stag. During a college lecture, when my professor announced he watched films alone, a student called him a loser.

Seeing a movie in a theater alone doesn’t make you a loser or pathetic or desperate.

It’s liberating. Plus, you don’t have to share your bag of popcorn or stash of Sour Patch Kids with anyone.

If you do decide to see a movie alone, consider these words of wisdom:

1) Don’t arrive too early. Nothing is worse than arriving to a film screening 30 minutes early, unless you want to use this time to care for your virtual farm or catch up on a backlog of tweets.

On the other hand, don’t arrive too late. Scouring the theater for that lone empty seat is a pain — especially if the previews have already started and you are hunting in the dark.

2) Keep to yourself. Nothing is more annoying than that person behind you who has to utter a comment during every twist in the plot. It’s equally annoying when said person laughs too loud at every fart joke, uses the back of your chair to catapult himself up to a standing position or constantly readjusts how he is sitting while kicking the back of your seat. Please take a moment and reflect on your last film experience. If you didn’t notice these things, there is a good chance that annoying person is you.

3) Keep it simple. I’ve watched my fair share of movies that totally and utterly perplexed me (i.e. every single David Lynch movie ever created).

It’s for these types of films that you need to bring a buddy to explain every plot twist that escapes your grasp.

Better yet, these movies are great candidates to rent. That way, you can pause the movie every time you have to ask, “Now, why is their a fetus floating into outer space?”

On the other hand, don’t see a movie that you know will depress you. I was an emotional wreck when I decided to watch Pixar’s “Up.” I must have cried three times within the first 10 minutes of the film.

I recommend sticking with action films or romantic comedies. These films don’t require many brain cells.

If you still find that you can’t overcome the social barrier of seeing a film alone, my recommendation is subscribe to Netflix. You can watch films in the comfort of your own home, and the best part is you don’t have to change out of your sweats.

• Andrea Frainier, lifestyle writer, can be reached at 245-3681, ext. 257 or afrainier@ thegardenisland.com.

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