‘Can’t stand the Heat’

It really should be easy to cheer for the Miami Heat.

Star-studded, highlight-wielding, tough-nosed, defensive-minded — resisting that combination is no easy task for me.

But there would be a lot wrong in obtaining any sort of pleasure from watching the Heat have success.

One of my biggest hurdles is probably that I’m a Knicks fan. The disdain I have for Miami goes back to a time when Dwyane Wade wasn’t even in high school yet.

Aside from that hatred — which has since been imprinted into my genetic code — more than anything, I’m really a basketball fan. I just love to watch the game played really well by the best players. In that sense, I should have developed some joy for watching this Miami team play this season.

Yet seeing them succeed leaves me completely empty inside. I don’t get mad, I don’t get frustrated, I don’t get emotional. Just empty.

It’s like the “sideways world” on the final season of LOST. We were initially led to believe that this was supposed to be everyone’s paradise, but yet, things were just — off. We as viewers couldn’t quite figure it out and neither could the characters, themselves. But deep down, we all knew this was really just some charade. You’re not supposed to be doing this, we were all collectively thinking.

I can’t remember a team in NBA history, or sports history for that matter, that did so many things we, as fans, wanted to see, but for which we still held such intense animosity.

They have two of the most exciting players in the world to watch in Wade and LeBron James. Though superstars, neither has ever been accused of being a selfish player (on the court, anyway). In James’ case, the opposite has sometimes been true, with fans and analysts hoping he would be more me-first in key situations.

The third “superstar,” Chris Bosh, has taken heat all season. Bosh has been the scapegoat when things have failed to go right and is seen as simply an above-average player, one who also might feel a little too much. He speaks his mind and expresses his insecurities — things we supposedly want from our heroes. Nope, not from Bosh. Keep quiet and be thankful you maneuvered your way south with the other two.

Is Udonis Haslem gritty and tough? Sure, but I don’t care. Does Mike Bibby deserve a shot at a ring after the joke that was the 2002 Western Conference finals? Probably, but I don’t care. Does Joel Anthony give hope to offensively challenged scrappers around the globe? Don’t care. Is Pat Riley a legendary basketball mind? Yes, but I realllly don’t care. (Knick fan, remember?)

But why don’t I care? Why does watching this team do so many things right make me root for other franchises I also despise, like the Celtics and Bulls?

It’s because again, just like that LOST sideways world, something is simply off. Sure, everything seems to be normal for a while. You think you’re just watching a really good team find its way and then, BAM! You realize this just shouldn’t be. Shots of Heat fans celebrating in Miami sports bars (which probably double as martini bars, or speed-dating locations) are like Jack Shepherd’s son David making his first on-screen appearance. Wait, what? Well this clearly isn’t right.

Seeing those reactions snaps me back to reality. You’re telling me that the same Miami “fans” in their No. 6 jerseys, who probably think Sasha Danilovic is a Ukrainian pop singer, are now constantly high-fiving like Thursday night frat boys? These are the same “fans” who couldn’t fill the arena for the playoffs last year, won’t stay for four quarters and needed an ad campaign to show up at the start of this season?

Sure, those fans really deserve a title. Another title, that is.

There were so many things wrong with how this team handled itself before ever stepping on the court, that any “us against the world” attitude it has created since is simply that: created. Created by who? By the Heat, themselves.

When Wade made his “the world is better now, the Heat are losing” comment, which was a veiled attempt to elicit sympathy, it didn’t work and, hopefully, just provided a stronger diagnosis for the problem.

This team had a bigger celebration for signing the three stars last summer than it did when it won the championship in 2006. When the emphasis is simply on the pageantry and the spectacle, observers aren’t likely to provide their well-wishes for the results, too.

So I root against the Heat.

I love to watch LeBron play the game. I think he’s the most physically gifted and basketball-savvy player not named Jordan that I’ve ever seen with my own two eyes.

I still root against the Heat.

I have huge admiration and respect for Wade. He puts his body on the line and continues to make plays at the rim that make me jump from my seat.

Still, I root against the Heat.

I think Bosh has taken more than his fair share of criticism this season and has been really effective for long stretches.

I still want the Heat to get crushed every night.

And then there’s Pat Riley…

Let’s go Mavs.