Editor’s note: “Spiritual leaders answer” is a weekly column inviting Kaua‘i’s religious and spiritual leaders to share their doctrine’s perspective on a suggested subject. Every Friday a topic is printed inviting a response. Submissions are edited for content and length.
Editor’s note: “Spiritual leaders answer” is a weekly column inviting Kaua‘i’s religious and spiritual leaders to share their doctrine’s perspective on a suggested subject. Every Friday a topic is printed inviting a response. Submissions are edited for content and length. Thoughts or suggestions for future topics are always welcome. Next week’s topic is spirituality. The topic at the end of the column is for the following week.
‘When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.’ — Catherine Ponder, author.
Lami Tashi Dundrup
Kaua‘i Dharma Center
All sentient beings experience pain and suffering. All these beings seek happiness and freedom. In this situation we are all the same. In this human condition we have positive and negative qualities. Forgiveness is extended to ourselves in the process of spiritual development by transforming all negative qualities of our body, speech and mind to positive or beneficial ones that help to alleviate or remove the fear, pain, suffering, etc., of others. In addition, through meditation and other disciplines, we discover the ultimately true nature of our mind which is clear, open, boundless, blissful, and loving. In this state of mind there is no pain, and lasting happiness.
This is ultimate forgiveness for being ignorant, and this is what is extended to everyone and everything everywhere.
Pastor Wayne Patton
Anahola Baptist Church
The Bible deals with forgiveness in a sensitive, wise and comprehensive way. There are at least three biblical elements that make up the chemistry of forgiveness.
First, we must learn that true love overlooks the many small, daily offenses that are bound to occur. Ephesians 4:2 says “… bearing with one another in love.” The phrase “bearing with” is a translation of a Greek word, which literally means “to put up with.” One of the most important techniques to learn in dealing with people is the power of a well-timed shrug. True loves flushes away a multitude of small, daily offenses and keeps the sludge of anger, hurt and bitterness from backing up into the plumbing system of the soul.
The second element of forgiveness involves more serious offenses. The Bible teaches that when someone comes to us with a contrite, repentant heart, asking our forgiveness, we are obliged to forgive them just as we ourselves have been forgiven by God (Col. 3). It is by God’s grace that we have the grace to extend the grace of divine forgiveness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:32).”
The third element in the chemistry of forgiveness involves the impenitent who offended, hurt or abused us. They have never apologized, and perhaps they are even scornful of their high-handed evil. Here we have two biblical options.
We may choose to forgive them if we feel we should. Jesus prayed for His executioners, saying, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” However, we also realize that biblical forgiveness is conditioned by repentance. For God to forgive everybody for everything with no demands of contrition or repentance would betray His own holiness and justice. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” Though love may sometimes choose to forgive, it is not obligated without repentance. In those cases we commit the impenitent person into God’s hands, releasing anger, bitterness, and resentment in order to discover the power of forgiveness.
Rev. Dr. James Fung
Lihu‘e Christian Church
When you’ve been hurt deeply, unfairly and intentionally, it’s the most natural feeling to become angry and to want to strike back at the person who hurt you. The desire for vengeance is completely understandable.
I still remember, as a teenager, being on the receiving end of a bully’s taunts and jabs. I can still see the jeering look of malice in his eyes, the sneer on his face and the obvious pleasure he was deriving at my expense. I hated his teasing, but I hated myself more for not having the courage to give him a solid punch in his mid-section, followed by an uppercut to his sinister face.
You see, as time went by, I day-dreamt about the injury I could and should have inflicted upon this evil monster — to teach him a lesson, to make him think twice before he picked on someone again. The dreams of retaliation and vengeance made me feel strong. I almost wished there would be another time for me to counter-attack and reduce him to tears, begging for mercy.
But then the Bible speaks about the virtue of forgiveness. Jesus teaches it. He demonstrates it on the Cross. A prayer that Christians recite regularly at worship says, “forgive us for the wrongness of our ways as we forgive the imperfections of others” (or a variation of this). Forgiving others can be the last thing we want to do, the hardest thing to do, the most unnatural thing to do — but the thing that God wants us to do.
God forgives us our deepest, most grievous sins, the sins that we keep private, the hateful thoughts we harbor, the bitterness we nurse, the lustful desires we entertain, the jealous feelings that make us resent the success of others. God forgives us for all this: The part of us that we would prefer not to acknowledge. And as we are forgiven, God expects us to forgive as well.
God knows that forgiveness does not come quick and easy. True forgiveness takes time, work, prayer and willing determination. Letting go of the desire for vengeance and for getting even. It not only sets the other person free, it sets us free. It sets us free from the memory of the moment when we felt the pain. It sets us free from the need to keep replaying in our mind the plan of retaliation. It sets us free from the grip of the beast of anger that stalks our past. Forgiveness sets us free to move on, unencumbered with the burden of having to drag the memory of a dreadful past incident into the bright tomorrows of our lives.
Rebecca DeRoos
Science of Mind Practitioners
Forgiveness is a term which essentially means giving for another, as well as yourself.
“Resist not evil” (Matt. 5:35) means simply to face evil straight on, but in a way you wouldn’t expect. Jesus, the great revolutionary teacher of his time, demonstrated this. He didn’t agree with the old law of an eye for an eye or if one should kill another, he should be killed himself. He taught forgiveness, but in a different way. True forgiveness goes beyond the physical.
Emmet Fox explains how: “If someone is behaving badly, you immediately switch your attention from the human to the Divine and concentrate upon God or upon the real spiritual self of the person in question. You will find that his conduct will immediately change. This is the true revenge.”
With true divine forgiveness, no matter how many times you’re injured or provoked by another, your letting go will actually free yourself. The realization of the Presence of God’s love is powerful. It restores peace to all.
Topic for two
weeks from today
• Will you speak to us on marriage?
• Spiritual leaders are invited to e-mail responses of three to five paragraphs to afrainier@ thegardenisland.com.
• Deadline each week is 5 p.m. Tuesday.
