10 ways to keep your child out of Family Court

Here are 10 ways to keep your child out of Family Court:

1. Know your child’s friends. Encourage your child to bring friends to your home.

2. Visit your child’s school. Let your child know you are interested and want to be involved in their education. As you become more aware of your child’s environment during the day, you will be better prepared to deal with him or her effectively during the evening.

3. Set aside time each evening when you and your child discuss the day’s activities. This will keep you in tune with your child’s thoughts, friends, and how their activities turned out.

4. Encourage your child to discuss with you any matters of concern or interest. Remember there is no matter too small or insignificant for a child to discuss with you.

5. Make sure your child knows daily he or she is loved. Give your child a hug each day and tell him or her how glad you are to be their parents.

6. Set consistent standards of behavior for your child. Let him or her know there are socially acceptable and socially unacceptable behaviors. Make sure your child has a clear understanding of your expectations.

7. Reward and discipline your child. Let your child know there are natural consequences for acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

8. Set a good example. Make sure your child sees you displaying the types of behavior you would like him/her to demonstrate.

9. Discuss important values and attitudes with your child. Sit with your child and discuss the key values and attitudes that motive you to do your best. A solid ethical grounding that sustains a parent through good and bad times will help sustain a child as well.

10. Share a dream. Help your child understand that a dream shared today can someday be a reality. By helping your child set realistic goals, you will also help them positively influence their future.

In the coming weeks we will continue sharing other community members’ “top 10” for strengthening connections with your children and teenagers. Have fun practicing these this week.

Questions? A support group of adults in our Kaua’i community have “stepped into the corner” for our teens, to answer questions and give support to youth and their families on a wide variety of issues. E-mail questions or concerns facing youth and families today to LaVerne Bishop, program director of Hale ‘Opio, at lbishop@haleopio.org. Michael Town is a former senior Family Court judge in Honolulu.