Transplant woes: Papworth Hospital, a leading UK medical facility has defended its practice of using organs donated by smokers after a soldier died after receiving the cancerous lungs of a heavy smoker. Papworth executives expressed hope that the negative publicity
Transplant woes: Papworth Hospital, a leading UK medical facility has defended its practice of using organs donated by smokers after a soldier died after receiving the cancerous lungs of a heavy smoker. Papworth executives expressed hope that the negative publicity doesn’t additionally jeopardize the hospital’s practice of using alcoholics as donors for liver transplants.
Dancing stars: Tom Delay surprised everyone by announcing that he was quitting Dancing With the Stars because of stress fractures on both feet. Watching Tom Delay dance reminded me of some words of wisdom my dear mother told me just before she passed on which was “son, never spend hard-earned money to watch white people dance.”
Racism still around: Some are claiming that election of Barack Obama and his subsequent winning of the Nobel Prize may signal the decline of racism worldwide. I don’t know about that. There’s still a “whites only” cycle on my washing machine.
Fallen income: Celebrity gossip columns are reporting that singer Amy Winehouse’s net worth has fallen from $16 million to $2 million just this past year. When reached for comment, Winehouse attributed everything to the fact that the cost of living has increased to over $125 a gram.
Hung jury: A jury in a recent forgery trail in Littlerock, Arkansas became deadlocked and the judge declared them a “hung jury.” I’m thinking wow, hanging seems like a pretty stiff penalty for not being able to reach a verdict!
Good news for whales: The Federal Government is considering removing the once nearly extinct Humpback whale off the endangered species list because it is making such a big comeback. Guess they’ve made it over the hump.
Stress and overeating: A new study says that sleep deprivation and stress can lead to overeating. So if you find yourself staying up nights, worried that you’re not gonna get to Dunk’n Donuts before they close, you pretty much may as well go ahead and open up an account at the nearest plus size boutique.
Playmate Marge: Cartoon character Marge Simpson will appear with a two page centerfold in the November issue of Playboy. You can bet that her body parts are probably a lot less fake than any of the “real” playmates.
• Johnny Robish is a humor writer and former stand-up comic who lives on Kaua‘i. E-mail him at johnny@johnnyrobish.com.
