Economic advice from Alaska: Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has just returned from giving a closed door speech to investors in Hong Kong, for which she was reportedly paid $300,000. When asked if she sees any parallels between today’s economy
Economic advice from Alaska: Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has just returned from giving a closed door speech to investors in Hong Kong, for which she was reportedly paid $300,000. When asked if she sees any parallels between today’s economy and the “the Great Depression,” Palin expressed her doubts, pointing out that back in the 1920s and ’30s we didn’t have drugs such as Prozac or Zoloft to treat depression like we have today.
Sight restored: A 60-year-old Mississippi woman had her sight restored after a tooth was implanted in her eye as a base to hold a prosthetic lens. I was wondering how in the world could they implant a tooth into someone’s eye? Then it occurred to me, they must have used one of her eye teeth.
Moose Advisory Committee? Minnesota’s Moose Advisory Committee is calling on the state to do more to preserve and develop the moose habitat in Minnesota. Get serious! Minnesota has a “Moose Advisory Committee?” And the committee’s two most prominent members are Rocky Raccoon and Bullwinkle J. Moose, aka Rocky and Bullwinkle?
Better off dead: Research released by the American Journal of Public Health estimates that 45,000 deaths per year in the United States are associated with the lack of health insurance. An insurance industry spokesperson countered that we should all be grateful that these people were lucky enough to die before getting old enough to have to appear before one of the government’s death panels.
Lifetime achievement award: Fugitive director Roman Polanski, who fled the United States after being convicted on charges of having sex with a minor back in 1977, has been detained in Switzerland where he was to receive a lifetime achievement award. I never realized that there’s a lifetime achievement award for having sex with minors.
Martial arts practitioner: A man who was so proficient in the martial arts that his hands were once licensed, was recently beaten up and left for dead on a New York City street. When asked how this could happen to someone so accomplished that his hands were once licensed, city officials said that’s what can happen when no one renews the license.
• Johnny Robish is a humor writer and former stand-up comic who lives on Kaua‘i. E-mail him at johnny@johnnyrobish.com.
