Editor’s note: This article is part of an ongoing series dedicated to teen runaway prevention. Two important life skills to develop are: identifying influential people in your life and identifying how personal values, principles and beliefs affect your decision making.
Editor’s note: This article is part of an ongoing series dedicated to teen runaway prevention.
Two important life skills to develop are: identifying influential people in your life and identifying how personal values, principles and beliefs affect your decision making.
Who can you count on in an emergency? Who will be there for you when you really need someone? Who really has your best interest in mind?
As indicated by the National Runaway Switchboard, personal influence is another area that is important in runaway prevention. Knowing and understanding who has an influential effect on you is helpful as you go through life’s ups and downs.
In time of crisis, young people need to feel that they can turn to a friend, a teacher, relative or even a hobby for comfort and support. It is also crucial that they are able to determine if a person or thing has a positive or negative influence.
People who positively influence you are people you can count on in times of trouble or need. They also help you to make good decisions and feel good about them.
Think about all the significant people you know. Who’s got your back? Who has your respect? Is it your kumu? Your brother? Your grandmother? These people may not always tell you what you want to hear. Instead, they help you to grow by challenging you to be the best version of yourself. There are times when you are angry at them because they don’t let you get away with making excuses. Yet, they are truly there for you to lean on when it counts.
Now think of more figures in your life? Anyone who always agrees with you, say things that you like to hear, or pushes you to do things that are illegal, inappropriate or harmful? These people may be the ones who have a negative influence in your life. They may appear to be good and caring, but they somehow steer you in the wrong directions. There is no foolproof formula to distinguish positive from the negative personal influences, but listening to your instincts is a safe bet.
The ability to make good decisions depend on four aspects of your life: physical, emotional, spiritual and social.
Physical health
Physical health is when your body functions as it is supposed to. Being healthy is not necessarily the same thing as looking muscular and strong. Physical health begins inside your body and radiates outward. Your neighbor looks fit and paddles competitively every week; however, he smokes cigarettes and drinks heavily. Since he is doing harmful things to his body, he may not be in the best possible physical health.
With good nutrition and exercise, you can help maintain your health. By doing so, you help your body defend against illness and heal quickly.
Emotional health
What does it mean to have emotional well-being? The National Runaway Switchboard defines this as the flexibility to deal with life’s stresses and challenges as well as the ability to enjoy life and have balance.
To be emotionally well does not mean to have a life without difficulties. It means that you have the ability to deal with challenges without causing further harm, or you have the ability to access resources to help you deal with them.
Familydoctor.org states that spirituality is “the way you find meaning, hope, comfort and inner peace in your life.” Some find it in religion, music, art or a connection with nature. Others find it in their values and principles.
Spiritual health
To improve your spiritual health, you can identify things in your life that give you a that sense of comfort, peace, strength and love. This can be hula, music, surfing, soccer or attending church. Once you have a list, make time to do the things that help you be spiritually healthy.
Social health
Social health, according to the Switchboard, includes having access to support and services that you need and “maintaining healthy relationships, such as those with friends, family, and members of your community.
When you are socially healthy, you have loving relationships, respect the rights of others, communicate your needs to others, as well as give and accept help.
In sum, in strengthening your life skills, it is beneficial to know your surroundings and the influential people in your life, and to understand your inside world — your values, beliefs and decision-making tools.
• Tram Vuong Meadows is the Therapeutic Foster Home Program Therapist for Hale ‘Opio Kaua’i. She can be reached at tmeadows@haleopio.org, or Hale ‘Opio Kaua’i Inc., 2959 Umi St., Lihu’e, HI 96766.
Questions?
A support group of adults in our Kaua‘i community have “stepped into the corner” for our teens, to answer questions and give support to youth and their families! Please e-mail your questions and concerns facing our youth and families today to Mary Navarro, executive director of Hale ‘Opio, at mnavarro@haleopio.org.
