In earlier columns I have addressed how a child who is able to imagine, is better able to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence, either verbally or physically. It takes time to read stories and develop vocabulary. It takes time
In earlier columns I have addressed how a child who is able to imagine, is better able to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence, either verbally or physically.
It takes time to read stories and develop vocabulary. It takes time to listen to family stories, and talk about them. The average quality time shared by parents and their children is between five and 15 minutes a day. In nearly all homes, both parents work, and on Kaua’i that may even mean working at multiple jobs.
Big sisters and brothers have to become little mothers and fathers, and lose some of their childhood. Kids who crave family connections are more likely to join gangs than those who feel supported, protected and cherished by their families. Storytelling is something that can be enjoyed by family members of all ages.
I’ve chosen a Korean and Japanese folk tale that is not only rich for building imagination, but also has an important message to share. I hope you will enjoy it. It is modified from “Using Stories to Prevent Violence and Promote Cooperation” from Life Trax.
“The Tiger’s Whisker”
A wise old man lived in the mountains of Korea. Everyone knew of his great wisdom and ability to make magic charms and potions.
One day a desperate young woman named Yun Ok came to see him. “Famous Sage, make a magic potion for me! If I don’t get it, I’ll be truly lost.”
The Sage looked thoughtfully at the tearful face of the young woman, and then gently said to her, “Tell me your story.”
She explained, “Master, my husband is a kind and loving man, dearer to me than anyone! For the past three years he has been away fighting in the wars. Now that he has returned, he hardly speaks to me or anyone! If I speak to him, he remains silent. When he speaks at all, it is with angry tones. Sometimes when he should be working in the rice fields, I see him sitting by himself on top of a hill, staring out at the sea below. I ask you for a potion that will make him caring and happy as he used to be,” the woman said.
“I do believe I can make a potion that will help you, but it won’t be easy,” the Sage told her. “The potion requires the whisker of a living tiger!”
“How can I possibly get a whisker of a living tiger without being killed?” gasped Yun Ok.
“If you wish for me to make the potion, you will figure out a way,” he stated, and abruptly walked away.
One night, when Yun Ok’s husband was asleep, she crept from her house with a bowl of rice and meat and went to the place on the mountainside where the tiger lived. Standing far away from his cave, she held out the bowl of food, and called for the tiger to come and eat. He did not come.
The next night she went out again, but this time she went a little closer to the tiger’s cave.
This went on for many nights, each night she got a little closer. The tiger became accustomed to seeing her there. One night, the tiger came a few steps toward her and stopped. They looked at one another in the moonlight. It happened again on the following night, and this time she was so close that she could speak to the tiger in a soft soothing voice. The very next night after looking carefully into the woman’s eyes, the tiger ate the food she held out for him.
After that time, Yun Ok would find the tiger waiting for her on the trail. When he had eaten, she would gently rub his head with her hand. Nearly six months had passed since she first began.
At last one night after gently stroking the tiger’s head, she whispered, “Oh, Tiger, please do not be angry with me, but I must have one of your whiskers. There is no other way to help my husband.” Trembling, she took out a small knife and cut off one of the whiskers.
To her surprise and relief, the tiger did not become angry, but continued to look at her. She rubbed his head again, looked into his eyes, and then began walking down the trail back to her home. She carefully placed the whisker in a small pouch at her side.
The very next morning she arrived at the sage’s house as the sun was rising over the sea. “Oh, Great Sage! I have the tiger’s whisker! Now you can make the potion so that my husband will be gentle and loving again!”
The Sage studied the whisker in his fingers for a few moments. Satisfied that it had really come from a living tiger, he threw it into the fire that was burning in the fireplace.”
“What have you done?” the woman cried out in anguish.
The sage seemed to ignore her question and asked her, “Tell me, how you were able to get this whisker.”
“Why, I went to the mountain each night for six months with a bowl of food in my hands. At first I stood far away from the tiger’s cave, but came a little closer each time, until he began to trust me. I never gave up. I never spoke harshly to him, or cursed him because he wouldn’t leave his cave. Then he began to meet me on the trail, and eat out of the bowl that I held in my hands. I rubbed his head, and he made happy purring sounds in his throat. Only after that did I take the whisker.”
“So you were able to tame the tiger and win his confidence,” said the sage.
“Yes, and now you have thrown the whisker into the fire! So it has all been for nothing!”
“Oh, no, please understand that you have done these things for a good reason,” replied the sage.
The old man looked gently into the face of the uncomprehending woman. “Let me ask you, is a man more vicious than a tiger? Does he respond less to kindness and understanding? If you can win the love and confidence of a wild and bloodthirsty animal, can you not do the same for your husband?”
Yun Ok stood speechless for a moment. Then she bowed her head in a gesture of thanks, and slowly walked out of the hermit’s home. As she made her way back to her house, she thought in her mind about the wisdom she had learned from the sage, and knew that she would be able to help her husband.
We all become tigers sometimes, and we all need friends and family who can soothe our inner beasts.
• Annaleah Atkinson is the Teen Court manager for Hale ‘Opio Kaua‘i. She can be reached at aatkinson@haleopio.org, or Hale ‘Opio Kaua‘i Inc., 2959 Umi St., Lihu‘e, HI 96766.