Headlines not worth noting

What happens to a headline if it doesn’t make the cut on The Garden Island’s sports pages?

Well, to tell you the truth, nothing really happens, except for a few laughs here and there.

So I decided to share the headlines that would never appear anywhere except in this column.

Enjoy and go online to vote on which one you think is the best one. Who knows? It might make the cut someday!

• KAGRA admits that cowboys are better in the arena…

• Kaua‘i cowboys start all-men’s rodeo club…

• Island School adopts wrestling, competes in ILH…

• Mel Rapozo takes on job as president of Kekaha Pop Warner…

• Waimea baseball team gives up title, noting that Kaua‘i’s streak is too good to break…

• Former Waimea football coach and current A.D. Jon Kobayashi quits and assumes role as Kaua‘i football coach…

• Kapa‘a High School adopts new mascot, “Vili the Warrior!”

• Waimea High School names Scotty Nakamatsu as new

mascot

• Kaua‘i High School announces its new mascot is the chicken…

• Swim Kaua‘i Aquatics, Mokihana Aquatics join to form Swimming: It’s Kaua‘i’s Spirit…

• Shanna Pollard wins Gridiron Football Picks Challenge…

• Dickie Chang tries out for USC Trojans after finding out he really has one year of eligibility left…

• K-PAL wrestling turns into K-PAL gymnastics, citing no interest in wrestling…

• Kaua‘i football coach Keli‘i Morgado runs for Mayor, citing recent football success forced him to…

• Eben Kaneshiro gives up mixed martial arts and runs for council, unseating his uncle Daryl…

• Kaua‘i Polo Club uses cattle instead of horses this season…

• Kapa‘a boys volleyball gives up state title because girls didn’t win it too…

• Manny Henriques gives up photography and goes full-time into parenthood…

• Kong AM570’s “Anahola” Joe gives up broadcasting and devotes all of his time to eating contests…

• Longtime official Peter Rayno calls everything he sees, including traveling calls…

• AYSO parents only cheer at games and hold all complaints to themselves…

• Youth coaches on Kaua‘i refuse to coach if they are related to a player on his/her team…

• Kaua‘i Athletic Club reaches maximum capacity…

• Andy Irons moves back to Kaua‘i permanently to take up cattle ranching job…

• All Kaua‘i surfers gain automatic entry into professional ranks…

• Colorado switches Jordon Dizon to running back because they finally figure out he’s good at it…

• Jordon’s mom, Darla Abbatiello moves to Boulder to become police chief…

• Nat Childs named Kaua‘i Jr. Golf top alumnus of all time…

• Richie Petersen of TheSpiritofSports.com starts up RichiePetersen.com, a Web site for non-sports fans…

• And finally…Kaua‘i adopts the Kaua‘i Beach Bombers, a new NFL franchise, which will play games at Vidinha Stadium!

• Duane Shimogawa Jr., sports editor, may be reached at 245-3681 (ext. 257) or kauaisports@kauaipubco.com.

0 Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

By participating in online discussions you acknowledge that you have agreed to the TERMS OF SERVICE. An insightful discussion of ideas and viewpoints is encouraged, but comments must be civil and in good taste, with no personal attacks. If your comments are inappropriate, you may be banned from posting. To report comments that you believe do not follow our guidelines, send us an email.