‘The Bachelor’ is back

It was the talk of the office the very next day.

Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly watch another tear-filled rose ceremony, ABC executives delivered this past Monday, with a jaw-dropping, what-was-she-thinking? premiere of “The Bachelor: Paris.” And no, it wasn’t about the single billionaire, former Paris Hilton flame, Paris Latsis. It’s just set in the romantic French city.

This season’s bachelor is 33-year-old emergency medical doctor Travis Stork from Nashville, Tenn., who will try to find love.

The show started out, like it always does, with the bachelor waiting outside a beautiful manor as limos of women pull up, eager to meet him.

To say they were eager is possibly an understatement.

This season, casting staff for ABC found some serious, um, gems.

Right off the bat, as the women stepped out of the limo, they wasted no time showing how excited they were.

It was as if they had never seen a man before.

At times I wondered if these girls were in isolation for a number a years, and then let out only to participate on the show.

If I had guys look at me the way these girls were looking at him, I think I would have run. They practically mauled him over.

Some of the entrances were classic.

When April from Texas stepped out, I thought Tara Reid must have hit an all-time low if she’s on the show. It wasn’t really Tara, it was April, but that didn’t stop me from cracking up when in true, train-wreck-Taradise fashion, she nearly fell from losing her shoe. Great first impression there.

What I love most about the show is watching the girls plan their future within the first two seconds after they see the guy. Take 25-year-old model Jennifer from Boston.

In one of her testimonials for the camera, she says that he’s so cute she thinks they’ll make great model babies. What? And how’s this for a first impression? Allie G. From Delray Beach, Fla., like Stork, is a doctor. This makes her feel like she’s got an “in.” So she decides she’s going to be upfront with him. (And I think all the alcohol helped, too.) Then she tells him what every bachelor loves to hear: “I’m ready to move on to the reproductive stage in my life.” Uh, OK. Didn’t you just meet him 30 minutes ago? Yikes! It only got better from there. Stork was allowed to give out one rose to a girl prior to the actual rose ceremony at the end of the episode.

When he didn’t give it to her, she said she felt cheated.

Allie G. went into the rose ceremony already upset with him. You could see the anger on her face every time Stork gave a rose to someone else.

Ultimately, she was one of the 13 who got sent home, but that didn’t stop her from expressing her thoughts.

While outside with the other booted girls, she rants and raves, declaring that her eggs are rotting, and that he should C1be “willing and ready to proceed.” When another girl tells Allie G. that that’s her opinion, she shoots that down, and said he should be thinking the same thing because the both of them are in their 30s.

Fighting back tears, Allie G. storms back into the Paris manor and confronts Stork. You couldn’t write this stuff. It was such great, mindless television, I should be ashamed of watching it. But I’m not. It’s too funny. It’s bad enough she said what she said, then she makes it worse by going back in.

She gets up in his face and demands an explanation for why she didn’t get a rose. I won’t quote her here because even that could be taking it too far. I have to hand it to Stork, though. He handled it very well. He explained to her that he was not ready to move into “the reproductive stage” just yet, and thanked her still for coming.

Her last words were, “Maybe I’ll just join the convent.” Internet postings were saying that she was a paid actress, but whoever wrote that must not have watched “The Bachelor” or the “The Bachelorette” before, because actions like these are why ABC executives keep bringing it back.

Oh yeah, and because they want to help singles find the loves of their lives, even if their success rate isn’t all that great.

Apparently, she was on several broadcasts on Tuesday, laughing and joking about the episode. It was even rumored that she was going to make up T-shirts with the slogan “My eggs are rotting” on them, and sell them. Hey girl, whatever works for you.

“The Bachelor” airs on KITV channel 4 on Mondays at 9 p.m.

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